Double Sided Tracks

The loss of (our) life

At 25 weeks and 4 days gestation, he woke up with a nasty feeling in his stomach. He brushed it off as a separation anxiety, Nora had told him this morning to go home and spend the day with Isaac since it's a Saturday and he is home, that they can't forget about their first baby. She made him promise to facetime her throughout the day, which they did until she fell asleep.

He gently pry Isaac's chubby hand from his arm and scoop him up to tuck him in his own bed; they must've fallen asleep while playing on the soft padded mat. He looked at his phone expecting text messages from Nora but nothing was received, it's currently 9 PM and she fell asleep around 5 PM, and it's not that unusual for her to sleep very long. He tried to push down the worry.

"Hey," he greeted his mum who's currently packing food for them again, "you should've woke me up." He said softly.

"You needed the sleep," she said with a smile. "Going back?" she asked, as if she didn't know the answer already.

"Yes, going now." He nodded, she handed him the tote bag full of containers and made him promise to say hi to Nora and to return the containers.

As soon as he walked into the room, he knew something was wrong but he couldn't say what. Nora is surprisingly awake, the TV is on and she's staring at it like it's the most interesting thing ever that she almost didn't notice he walked in.

She smiled at him in greeting but something was wrong, all the alarm in his head is going off. "You look weird," he said instead, rushing to her side to watch her closely.

She giggled, but it's too—he couldn't pinpoint the right word. Too exhausting? Tired? Took her too much effort to let out a small giggle. "That's not nice to say about your wife," she whispered teasingly but she sounded a little out of breath. "It's great to see you too, Lew."

He shook his head, not in a teasing mood. "No," he said slowly, his tongue felt too big in his mouth, his heart beating so fast as if preparing something he can't name. "You look weird, I'm getting a doctor."

He walked quickly to the nurses station and basically almost harassed them, trying to remain calm yet he pretty much sounded frantic. This reminded him of the time Nora fell in Bora Bora.

When they walked in, Nora was slumped but eyes on the TV's screen still. The nurse checked her vitals quickly and thoroughly, and Lewis knew something was wrong when she just let them without saying anything.

"Your temperature is fairly high, I'm getting the on-call doctor."

Lewis hands are clammy right away, they order blood samples and multiple other tests to run while Nora is there being too quiet for his liking. Sure enough, her white blood cell counts are high. She's having an infection that's caused by the fact that her water was broken before labor time.

Doctor Homes appeared a few hours after the on-call doctor that both of them don't even remember his name, "we can't buy any more time, unfortunately." He said, looking Nora in the eyes but she looked to Lewis instead. In a room full of people, they'll always seek each other. "it's for your health, and baby boy's, we need to go now." He added and Lewis found himself nodding for the both of them.

They have less than an hour while the hospital is preparing what needed, Nora looked exhausted and just so very tired. Lewis took over her phone and started calling people, he let her parents know, let his parents know. To make sure they're here afterwards.

Dr. Homes reappeared again, "alright mom and dad, we're having a baby today." He said, signalling the two nurses to move the bed so they can wheel her out. It must've been his cheery voice, but Lewis found Nora smiling thinly. "Will you be there?" she asked softly, sounding so vulnerable Lewis wanted to cry.