I'm considering publishing the TADC fic I've started to write. This is sort of a taste. I might not tho, coz I'm also writing some other stuff that I want to publish for real.
AU where everyone's alive and happy
Betty: Care to dance?
Ribbit: I can't dance.
Betty: neither can I.
*Both lay in the middle of the dance floor.*
Caine: Is it offensive to make 'Pansexuals are attracted to pans' jokes?
Pomni, pan: No.
Ribbit, pan, at the exact same time: Yes.
Kaufmo: what, you think I like WOMEN?
Pre-transition Jax, through cackles: Oh shit, Betty, switch seats with me, I'm gonna shoot my shot
Kaufmo: you think I like MEN??
*entire group bursts into laughter*
Betty: Yeah, im claustrophobic.
Kinger: Betty, that's not nice, let tight spaces get married.
Betty: Our suffering is eternal. Our minds slowly forgetting until there is nothing-
Ghostly: hi
Betty: OHHHHH ITS A BABYYYYYYYYY *grabs him from the air to cuddle*
Kinger, addressing all the girls: Oh, you guys are like the six daughters I wish I had.
Zooble: uh, thanks Kinger, but you know I'm not a girl, right?
Kinger: I know.
Pre-transition Jax: How did I get here?
Jax: hey Betty, I heard people are shipping us!
Betty: shipping us to where...?
Ribbit, yelling at Jax and Ragatha: MAKE OUT, COWARDS!
Betty, throwing popcorn at them: WE WANT A DOUBLE-DATE AND ZOOBLE AND GANGLE ARE BUSY!
Jax: It's so sad that Pomni died of ligma.
Ribbit: who's Pomni?
Jax: LIGMA BALLS-
Gangle: First off, your Jordans are COMPLETELY fake!
Jax: *Screams in pain*
Gangle: Second, you, my friend, have absolutely NO good taste in anime!
Jax: *doubles over in agony*
Gangle: and FINALLY, you haven't even thought about getting Spotify Premium!
Jax: *fucking dies.*
*At a sleepover, teaching Jax about Girl Code*
Betty: okay, so, you can't call other women sluts anymore.
Jax, getting her nails painted by Ragatha: got it, got it.
Ribbit: but if you reeeeeeally want to call other women sluts, just say they're 'dressing for the male gaze' or something
Jax: understood, understood
Ragatha: I miss my family, Pomni. I miss 'em a lot.
Jax: no the fuck you dont??
Betty: Just three shots with this kitchen gun, and my dirty sink will be good as new!
Betty, shooting her sink: BANG! BANG! BANG!
Pomni: *screaming*
Betty, lovingly rubbing the gun against her cheek: I love kitchen gun!
Pomni: I want answers! Now!
Caine: ...
Caine: Yes.
Caine: No.
Caine: To get to the other side.
Jax: Listen Caine, just... make me a girl. Fully.
Caine: Jax, are you sure? I feel like that could have some unforeseen consequences!
Jax: I don't care if there's 'unforeseen consequences' just do it!
Caine: but Jax, don't you think that could backfire comedically?
Jax: Caine, I don't care, just babe it like I was a girl my whole life!
Caine: Alright... *Snaps his fingers.*
Jax: OH FUCK- *doubles over in sheer agony as she's hit by roughly 10-12 years worth of periods all at once.*
Jax: short
Ribbit: shorty
Kaufmo: short girl
Jax: short stack
Ribbit: tiny lil short guy
Kaufmo: shortest person ever
Betty: *Gonna kill all of them and then herself.*
Betty: Jax... Jax what the fuck is a skibidi toilet?
Pomni: uh, I- I don't think you need to see that-
Jax: *Pulling out her phone* Betty, you've GYATT to see this.
Jax: I miss my family, Pomni. I miss 'em a lot.
Ragatha: no the fuck you dont????
Jax: wait... so if YOU'RE asexual...
Kaufmo: and YOU'RE asexual...
Both, frantic: THEN WHO's GIVING A FUCK?!
Betty, furious: I'M NOT A BOTTOM, I'M JUST SHORT!
Ribbit, stroking her hair soothingly: C'mon baby, they're not worth it.
Jax: could I get spaghetti instead of penne?
Betty: what, you don't like the taste of a fucking shape? *Dumps penne in her bowl.*
Pre-Transition Jax: I am the pinnacle of masculinity. I am pure strength and coolness. Nothing has ever effected me emotionally and nothing ever will-
Betty: *pets between their ears*
Pre-Transition Jax: *Melts into a flustered pile of softness.*
The most common phrase used in the circus...
Ragatha, mortified: Betty, you can't say that anymore
Ribbit, rubbing their forehead: Betty, you really can't say that anymore.
Zooble, grasping Betty's shoulders: Betty. You CANNOT say that anymore.
Gangle, scratching her head: I don't think you were ever allowed to say that one...
At Spudsys
Jax, standing knee deep in a container of lettuce: reevaluate me all you want, Gangle. You can't un-foot the lettuce.
Jax: I wonder why clowns have afros...?
Betty and Kaufmo, both black: Oh, you know why.
Betty, whispering: Jax, I found a coconut.
Jax, whispering back: okay...?
Betty, whispering: I want you to fucking bean Ragatha with it.
Ragatha: *overhears* you want to what?
Betty: I said we're gonna make you beans later.
Betty: ...so yeah, that's pretty much everything there is to know about Hanukkah. What do you guys do at Christmas?
Kaufmo: Fat man breaks in through the chimney.
Ribbit: Give the fat man food.
Jax: Follow the fat man's moral code or he puts rocks in your socks.
Betty:
Betty: guys what the fu-
Ribbit: I don't like repeating myself.
Kaufmo: you can't say that again! :D
*laugh track.*
Ribbit: Next time I converse with you, I'm bringing a gun.
Pomni: that's my girlfriend. *points at Ragatha*
Pomni: that's my girlfriend's girlfriend *points at Jax*
Pomni: that's my girlfriend's girlfriend's girlfriend *points at Ribbit*
Pomni: that's my girlfriend's girlfriend's girlfriend's girlfriend *points at Betty*
At a bar
Jax: hey baby, you come here often?
Betty: *giggles* yes.
Betty: because I'm an alcoholic.
On an adventure at a mountain
Ragatha: so, I saw a vine-
Kinger: no no, Ragatha. It's just TikTok now, there's no Vine.
Kaufmo: chat, we gotta get that level ten guy-at
Jax: we gyatta get it
Ribbit: we gyatta
Betty: *hands Ragatha a gun* so, you take me out, then you take yourself out.
Ragatha: Thank you, Betty. Thank you.
Jax: *drops her phone on Betty's foot.* shit, my bad
Betty: I've been wearing heels for the past twelve years. You could drop a pay phone in my foot and I wouldn't feel it.
