Something Infinite

Chapter 4

Harry's POV

We were on the sixth day of being at the hospital. Jen and Mia were getting a final check up today, to make sure we were set to head home tomorrow.

The whole thing was still so surreal to me. Being a dad was definitely proving to be challenging already, but also extremely rewarding. The 3am nappy changes after Jen had fed her, was not my favourite early morning wake up call.

A year ago, 3am meant Jen and I getting back to the hotel room after a night out, and feeling her skin against mine until the sun rose again. In this present moment, the only person who had skin to skin contact with her was our daughter.

I loved the sight, even when they were both asleep I would stay up, looking at the photos and videos I had taken that day, but I was missing the alone time I had with Jen. I missed laying next to her at night, and touching her so gently I would feel goosebumps rise to the surface of her skin.

Maybe I was just jealous I didn't have her full attention anymore, maybe I was just being needy. I was so proud of the mum she already was, I guess it would just take some getting used to that I was no longer her top priority.

I sat in my usual spot on the nursing chair by the window, and watched Jen sleep peacefully, until Mia woke up again to be fed. She was exhausted, but she put on a brave face, not only to prove to me, but to herself, that she could do this whole parenting thing.

She didn't have to prove anything, because I knew she would do an amazing job at it all along.

Rob, Lauren's father, was not in a good way. Lauren and Ryan alternated between here and his hospital everyday, putting on a brave face while around Jen. We still hadn't told her about him, Lauren wanted to talk her once she got home and settled in.

She still had no knowledge of Bella, and since she hadn't mentioned her, I hadn't had the urge to come clean about everything. I knew when she found out about everything, she would fall hard. I wanted to avoid that for as long as I could, because seeing her hurting would kill me.

I felt so guilty for keeping this all from her, but it was for her own good and sanity. From what I had heard about how she coped with her uncles death, she wasn't a person that dealt with loss lightly. Not that I thought the worst in my girlfriend, I just didn't want to give her a reason to be hurting.

"Oh she's asleep," my sister and Angus walked through the door, disappointed they chose to visit at an inconvenient time.

"She should be up soon, can't get enough of this place eh?" I stood up, and lead them out to the tiny courtyard outside our suite.

"Well there's not much to do at the house when you two aren't there, and I'm trying to keep myself busy," Angus seemed like there was something on his mind.

"He's procrastinating," Gemma rolled her eyes at her husband.

The two of them seemed to have picked up where they left off. Mum had gone back to the UK alone a couple of days ago, and Gemma had decided to stay here with Angus, to get their marriage back on track.

"What's going on? You look like you've got the weight of the world on your shoulders mate."

"No nothing, I'm good," he fake smiled. Judging by the look of disapproval Gemma was giving him right now, I could tell something was up, and he was trying to avoid talking about it.

"Just tell him, maybe he can talk some sense into you like I've been trying to," she encouraged him to open up about whatever it was, playing on his mind.

"Why are you trying to pressure me into making a decision?" He turned to Gemma, annoyed she was bringing whatever this was up in front of me.

"Because it affects both our lives, and I think you'd be an idiot to turn it down. Opportunities like this don't just happen to anyone, you're treating this like it no big deal. Maybe if you talk to someone about it, they could give you an outsiders opinion."