Something Infinite

Chapter 76

Jen's POV

All through life we are taught, that love is patient and kind, it does not envy or boast. Truth be told, love is not always kind. It can be painful, and hurtful, making your head spin in sheer heartache. At the same time, love can be passionate and wild, making your head spin in a daze of happiness. There is no right or wrong way to feel it. Without pain, there is no learning. Without suffering, there is no growth. There is no description on what it should look like, or what it should feel like. Your heart is your own. Every beat is a rhythm of your feelings. Your story.

Harry gave me every type of feeling that came with love. Good, and bad, every high and every low. He made my heart burst in happiness, as well as ache in pain. The question was never, did I love him enough. Of course I did, every inch of my heart was enveloped in his presence. The question was, did I love him too much, to keep overlooking the bad choices he made.

He was always there to pick me up, waiting for me to come back to him. The ending of last year tested us, when I pushed him away. He never gave up, no matter how much I tried to escape his love. He didn't abandon me, just like I could never abandon him. My intentions of going to London wasn't to end things, as much as it would appear that way to him.

Gemma insisted on coming with me, while Angus remained home. It was a hard duty trying to talk her out of coming, I felt it was something I needed to do alone, but she wouldn't take no for an answer. We'd managed to get on a plane by the next morning, so early I didn't bother sleeping last night.

I probably wouldn't sleep if I even had the chance. I was up all night thinking of how I was going to approach this situation with Harry. I didn't want to say the wrong thing, but I didn't know what the right thing was to say, either. I knew no matter what I'd planned, once I was standing in front of him, everything would come out differently. I didn't want to fall into his arms and tell him it would be okay, I had to be strong. Not only for me, but for him too.

"We're almost there, are you sure you want to go up there alone?" Gemma asked, as she drove us to Harry's hotel.

It was pouring rain, but still light out considering the time. It was like the universes way of telling me there were storms ahead, but there would be a light at the end of the tunnel. My stomach was twisting in nerves, with every kilometre we drove, closer to our destination.

"I'm sure. I don't want to take Mia up, I think it's best you wait with her. He will just avoid the conversation, and keep trying to distract himself with her, and there will have been no point in me coming then. I need to remind myself this isn't a reunion. This is his wake up call, and he's going to listen."

"We'll at least wait in the lobby. If you need me, call me right away. Willow is waiting in the foyer for you, to take you up. She said he hasn't left the room all day," Gemma told me.

I knew when Harry was down, he locked himself away, secluding himself from the world. I wouldn't be walking into the room to the man I knew, the man who's presence instantly lit up any room he occupied.

"We're here. Are you ready?" She asked, looking at me from the drivers seat, looking concerned.

"No. But I have to be," I shrugged, trying to contain my emotions. I knew I would be a mess the second I walked into his room.

"I'll get Mia, you just go straight to Willow. Don't hold back, Jen. He needs the honest truth, you can't mess about. You need to be strong," she hugged me, rubbing my back in comfort.