Something Infinite

Chapter 9

Harry's POV

"What do you mean One Direction is over? Where is this coming from?" My sister questioned my sudden desire to give up the career I had built over the last five years.

"I just don't know if it's what I want anymore. My life is here, in this house. I have a girlfriend that needs me, and a daughter that depends on me, my heart tells me to stay here, but my head questions if I'm ready to put my career on hold."

I know I wasn't the only one feeling like this, but none of the boys ever said anything in regards to breaking up. It was always just that little feeling I got when I saw one of their eyes roll at the schedule we'd been given, and the sighs of an early morning wake up to do an interview.

You could put it down to exhaustion- physically and mentally, and this break from touring since the accident gave us a chance to recharge, but personally I just felt like I wanted this break to be a little more permanent.

"I understand that, and I know they are important to you, but what about the boys? They need you too, you can't just give it all up and leave them in the dust! This was your dream Harry, you worked so hard to reach the level you have, are you sure you want to give it all up?"

Gemma saw first hand how much I sacrificed in order to achieve what I had. My sanity was tested immensely at the beginning of this. I left home at an early age, gave up my education, left my family and friends, and was throw into a world I was unfamiliar with.

I grew up fast in the industry, and had experienced more than most twenty one year olds my age. Never did I think at this age I would be in the biggest boy band in the world, own my own home with my girlfriend, live in Australia, and be a father. My childhood friends back home were still in university, living the single life most twenty one year olds lived, while I was globe trotting, selling out stadiums and warming up milk to feed my baby.

I loved the life I had, I wouldn't trade it for anything, but I think I was just ready for something simpler. A life where I could wake up at 10am and just lay in bed with my girls, and not have to worry about a photoshoot or appearance.

"I'm not leaving the band, I wouldn't abandon them. I just feel like we've run our course for now, and we all know it. None of us want to say it out loud, but we have other dreams we want to fulfil, other projects we want to do on our own. I think it's a discussion that needs to happen in London next week."

"Look Harry, I can't tell you what you should or shouldn't do, because I don't know what that is, only you and the boys do. My only advice to you is do what makes you happy, that's what is most important. If you're happy, then that is all that matters."

Gemma was right, I did have to do what made me happy, or I'd be living a miserable life. I knew exactly what my source of happiness was, which made my decision to talk with the boys about how I was feeling, a lot more easier.

"Happiness is where the heart is Gem- your heart is with Angus and that is why you're willing to move countries to be with him, my heart is with that little girl, and that girl down stairs, they are what make me happy."

"Well then I support you fully. I was looking at her before you came in here," she looked down at Mia, smiling as she was finishing off her bottle slowly.

"I was thinking about how you were ever going to find the strength to leave her. She's so tiny, and so precious, I'm already about to cry thinking about me leaving her next week."

"Tuesday is definitely going to be a struggle," I agreed with her, not knowing how I was supposed to leave her and Jen for a month, so soon after her birth. I desperately wanted them to come with me, but I knew it was a losing battle even asking that of Jen right now.