Something Infinite

Chapter 10

Harry's POV

Day two of Jen's silence and seclusion, was taking an immense toll on my state of mind. Living in a house where I was forced to walk on egg shells to avoid her breaking down, was not how I pictured our first week together with our daughter at home.

I continued giving her the space she needed, she had just lost her grandfather, so I didn't push her to speak with me. She didn't speak with anyone, not even Angus. He tried but she dismissed him.

She barely left the bedroom, but to be fair, she had hurt her ankle the day before, and I knew her stomach was still healing from her cut. Bed rest was what Nate had asked of her, I guess I just hoped while Mia slept she would sit with me in the lounge, or come outside with me for fresh air.

Day three was Sunday, when Willow was meant to come around. I hoped she could talk to Jen to try and bring her out of this dark cloud she had found comfort under. She didn't come, she got caught up doing something she didn't go into detail about.

We all tried to speak with Jen that day, but we got little out of her. She gave me no affection at night, it was like I was sleeping next to a stranger. I would wrap my arm around her, and she would do nothing. Usually she would hold my hand under hers, but not now.

She was emotionless, not a tear was shed that day, not even a smile while looking at our daughter. It was as if she was numb to any type of feeling. I wanted my Jen back, the girl who's presence alone would light up a room, and set my heart racing with one look my way.

I missed her, and she was right next to me. Day three was when I realised it was possible to miss someone even though they were still around.

Day four was today, the day of her grandfathers funeral. Surprisingly it didn't take much of an effort to get her up and out of the house. She didn't talk on the way to the church, she sat in silence, occasionally looking back to make sure Mia was okay.

I placed my hand on her knee, and she didn't move it. I expected her to squirm away, or push it off, but it sat there for the journey. Just like that time we had broken up after the Abi mistake, and she allowed my hand to rest on her knee for the duration of the flight. The action was speaking for us, more than words could right now.

"Do you think it's okay that Mia is coming with us? Should I have organised a nanny or something? Is she allowed in public?" She finally broke the silence, speaking more words to me now, than in the duration of the past two days.

"Your mum said she was fine to come, she's covered up properly, as long as no one that is sick holds her I think she should be okay."

She gave me a small nod in response, then looked out the window again in silence. I hated that she was being so distant, I was leaving tomorrow, I couldn't go when she was being like this towards me. I knew I messed up, but how long was I going to be punished for it?

"You know I leave tomorrow..." I tried to keep the conversation going.

"I know..." she simply responded, so neutrally, with no hint of emotion behind it. She knew I was going, yet she still made no attempts to mend the crumbling mess we called our relationship. I gave her time, I thought three days was more than enough space.

I pulled up to the church, parking the car and locking the doors before she could escape from me. I had something to say, and she was going to listen to it. We may have been in front of her grandfathers funeral, and this may not have been the time or place, but it's the only chance I would get where she would actually listen today.

"I'm not going to live like this forever Jenelle. I know I messed up by not telling you about Rob and Bella, I feel guilty every single day for that, but I don't deserve to be punished for it for the rest of my life.