Something Infinite

Chapter 13

Jen's POV

Goodbye, a word used when detaching yourself from a situation, or in my case person. Goodbyes weren't always forever, nor were they only temporary, the phase was more of a 'until next time' parting word for me.

We say goodbye to people for multiple reasons- "Goodbye, see you soon," when leaving someone for a period of time, knowing you'll see them again.

"Goodbye, I wish you well," when wishing the best for someone who is not meant to be in your life anymore, no matter how hard it was to let them go.

"Goodbye, I'll miss you," when letting go of someone who has passed away, and finally getting the closure you needed to move on, and accept this person would no longer be around.

If you think about it, life always starts off with a simple hello. You're welcomed onto this planet by the person who carried you around for nine months, you bring them happiness just by existing, only to then end life with a painful goodbye. Someone will miss you, someone will hurt when you leave, there was nothing simple about the end.

Same could be said for all situations in life. A relationship starts with a simple hello, you get to know one another, you fall in love, then somewhere along the lines the love could turn to hate, or the realisation hits that it just isn't working, and you're faced with a painful goodbye.

It's a word I struggled with, but would have to use and accept into my life.

Saying goodbye to Harry was never easy, in any circumstance. From sending him on a plane, to breaking up, to something as simple as hanging up the phone, taking myself away from a situation he was in always upset me.

The last time we were apart he got into an accident. I had an overwhelming feeling of anxiety over the whole situation when it it happened, and I couldn't help but feel the same way now that he was gone again. I would always worry about him until I saw him again, which made the goodbye the hardest this time around.

He wasn't the only person I would have to face a farewell with. Angus and Gemma were leaving in a few days, and I would have to send them off and count down the days until I saw them again. I was use to the back and forth with them, this time it just seemed harder since Angus had been living here for majority of the year.

We had a bond that was unexplainable to others, like siblings without the blood relation. He knew my secrets, he knew my habits and my flaws, and he accepted me no matter what. He was the first male besides my father and grandfather, I ever trusted.

No one ever questioned why we didn't take things to another level, nor did either of us ever let the thought cross our minds. It felt good to have a male companion in life that wanted nothing from you other than friendship, and never expected you to owe them anything in return for what they did for you.

I loved Mason, he was just as good a friend as Angus was, but no one could really compare to our bond. We'd experienced life together, one that not many people got to live through, we'd seen each other at our best and worst, and grew extremely comfortable with one another.

I'd miss him, and I would be upset he was going, but I was also so proud of him and what he had accomplished. Just like Harry, watching someone you love succeed makes the ache of missing them lessen. It makes you feel like the purpose of them leaving is benefitting them, and the distance was necessary.

Besides the temporary separation from my best friend and my boyfriend, I would have to face the worst goodbye of them all- my grandfather. The funeral wasn't the closure I needed, I was barely alert for it, and my mind was in a completely different place. I wasn't ready to face the letting go yet, so I decided to leave that until I knew I could handle it.