Something Infinite

Chapter 16

Jen's POV

Mason had decided to stay the night with me, and to be completely honest I was grateful for that. It was going to feel weird sleeping in an empty bed again after Harry had been home for so long, so if I could prolong the emptiness, I would.

We had decided on watching trashy reality TV all night, and pigging out on Chinese food. It was nice to have a friend around that enjoyed the same things I did, as opposed to forcing me into watching the game like Angus did. I loved having a gay best friend, because I could relate to him and his interests, as well as feel completely comfortable and at ease around him.

He still wasn't really open about his sexuality, but he didn't exactly hide it either. People speculated, but he never commented on it. He owned the world nothing, it was no one's business what gender someone was attracted to. What difference did it make anyway? it didn't change him as a person, and it definitely didn't change how I looked at him.

I did always wonder though if he was lonely, or if he had secret guy's on the side I was unaware of- It's not something we ever really spoke about openly. I mostly spoke about Harry and I's relationship issues, and he always listened and gave me advice. I wanted to know about his love life, and I wanted to know if he was happy.

"Can I ask you something?" I pulled his attention away from the third episode of Geordie Shore we had gotten stuck into.

"Yeah, what's up?"

"Are you lonely?" I asked him.

"What do you mean?" He looked at me confused.

"I don't know, like do you ever feel alone? You live by yourself, and you're choosing to spend your Tuesday night on the couch with a girl that has to feed her baby every few hours. Isn't there anything else you would rather be doing?"

I loved Mason's company, don't get me wrong, I just wondered if he would rather be doing other things than hanging around with me. We'd grown incredibly close over the past year, and we seemed to cling to one another almost immediately while I was single. I wondered if he ever felt obligated to keep me company while Harry wasn't around.

"I love spending time with you, you're one of my best friends," he shrugged.

"I just hope you don't feel like you have to be here, if you have other people to see or whatever," I tried to hint at any potential boyfriends, without directly asking him.

"Such as..." He questioned me.

"Other guys or something, someone who isn't a girl."

"What are you trying to say? Spit it out..." He was on to me, I could feel it. Maybe I should have just come out and said it- like he said, we were best friends, I could ask him these questions without feeling intrusive.

"Have you been dating anyone? We've never really spoken about it, we kind of always talk about me and my love life. I'm sorry if you've ever felt like I didn't care, or I wouldn't be interested."

He laughed at my question, and I was glad he wasn't going to be defensive over this. I knew he wouldn't be, he'd never shut down anything i'd asked him before, why would I think he would start now.

"You could have just come out and asked if I'm f*cking anyone, without beating around the bush and acting like you're a burden on me. In answer to your question, I'm not currently dating anyone, and I'm fine with that. I've been in relationships before, I was in a year long relationship when I lived in the UK. We broke up before I moved here, and I haven't had one to report to you since then.

I just haven't had the time to go out and date, I'd rather spend a night in with you than go out scoping hot guys. What fun is that when I don't have my main wing woman around? And for the record, I love hanging out with you, you're my first choice, baby or no baby," he assured me.