Something Infinite

Chapter 35

Jen's POV

Waiting around for the results to these pregnancy tests Harry picked up, was sending waves of anxiety and anticipation through me.

Surprisingly, during this silent wait for a positive or negative result, a part of me was hoping that I would be pregnant. I didn't know if my body was ready for another pregnancy, or if I was even mentally ready for another child, but glimmers of my future with Harry and our family were overpowering my doubts and fears.

Our entire relationship seemed to be going at a pace I was barely keeping up with, but I seemed to like it that way. Mia was a surprise to us, but I couldn't picture a life without her in it, anymore. She was the perfect puzzle piece in Harry and I's...colourful, relationship.

Through hardships and fortunes, the one thing that always remained the same, was my love for him, and his for me. That alone, made everything worth it in the end. Knowing he would be there to support me through anything, made every challenge seem less daunting than it would be, without him.

"This is a foreign feeling to me," Harry broke the silence, never taking his eyes off the sticks that held the answer to our future, sitting on the small table in our room.

"This wouldn't be our first child, Harry," I reminded him.

"No, I don't mean that, I just mean I never really got to experience this with Mia. We never suspected you were pregnant, we never got that suspense of waiting to find out, we were just told, and we had to accept it with no warning. Now that I actually get to think about it, I have so many thoughts swimming around."

"What do you want it to say?" I asked him, referring to the three tests we were still waiting on.

"Is it crazy for me to want it to say yes?" He admitted, and I can't say it surprised me. He loved our daughter so much, and he was so excited all during my pregnancy, it was a given he would want another child, and would be happy with a positive result.

"It's not crazy," I smiled. It made my heart flutter, knowing he wanted more kids with me. Not that I had any doubts, I knew he wouldn't leave me to go have more elsewhere, but just hearing him say it made me want to give him what he wanted.

"I've told you from the beginning, that all I see in my future is you, and a family. Don't get me wrong, Mia is more than enough for me right now, I love that little girl more than I thought humanly possible, but I wouldn't be disappointed in having another, this soon. How do you feel about it?"

"I kind of want it to say yes, too. Even though I'm not sure if I'm even ready to have another just yet, I know we'd made it work, and we'd be happy. I'm more prepared this time for the pregnancy, I think I'm getting the hang of this mum thing, so I wouldn't be opposed to baby number two."

Just seeing that smile on his face, after hearing my response to his question, confirmed in my mind that this meant everything to him. Me, Mia, maybe another baby- this is what made him happy, and I would never take that for granted, or destroy it for him.

I said stupid, idiotic things when I was angry and upset, I took it out on him too much, pushed him away, and tried to sabotage my own happiness, and I needed to learn to stop. I was getting better at biting my tongue, but glimmers of the old Jen still shone through occasionally. I wanted to be the reason for his smile, not the reason for his tears, and I would do whatever it took to make that happen.

"Why are you smiling like a goof?" I giggled at his childlike grin, staring right at me. He was a beautiful man, not just physically, but within too. His soul was like no other I had connected with, his smile alone could turn me into a puddle of mush, and just the things he said to me daily made me count my lucky stars, that I was the one that got to love him.