Something Infinite

Chapter 8

Jen's POV

At some point during my downward spiral into grief, I had managed to drift off to escape the world I was drowning in. A pool of disappointment, anger, loss and salty tears surrounded me, and I let them drag me down into the black hole, because I had no energy to fight them off today.

My eyes set upon an exhausted, sleeping man, who I knew was just as tired as I was. The man I loved, who I was still so upset with for keeping the truth about Bella and my granddad from me. Maybe I was overreacting, but I was still disappointed in him. Not just him, my entire family.

I didn't want to resent him for this, I just couldn't see how I would be able to get over it, and forgive him for keeping me in the dark for days. I knew he would push for me to talk to him, and the more he pushed, the harder I would push him away. I needed time to deal with everything, that's all I was certain of right now.

Stubborn or not, I had to deal with this the best I knew how, and silence was my best option. Either it was that, or we would get into a screaming match, resulting in us saying something one or both of us would regret. We had a daughter now, we couldn't risk ruining our relationship over emotions running high.

I didn't want to wake him, and I knew Mia would need a feed around now, so I decided to remove myself out of my comfort of misery right now, and go to her. As I stepped out of bed I lost my balance, stumbling on one of Harry's boots he had kicked off before falling asleep on the chair beside the bed.

I involuntarily cried out in pain as my ankle gave way, leaving me in a pile of agony on the floor. I didn't know which hurt more, the twisted ankle, or the healing cut across my abdomen. The pain medication had certainly worn off, and jabs of knives and stings ran along the stitched skin.

"Jen, what happened?" Harry jumped up, immediately cradling me in comfort.

"I'm fine," I snaked my way out from his embrace, attempting to stand on my own.

"You're not fine, at least let me help you back to bed," he ignored my displeasure of his arms around me, and forced me up on my feet, and back into bed.

"I need to feed Mia, I don't want to be in bed," I tried to stand back up.

"I'll feed her, just rest please. What hurts? Let me help you," his eyes darted down to where my hand was rubbing over my swelling skin.

"You've done more than enough in terms of helping me today, Harry," I scolded him, letting my anger take over again.

"I know you're angry baby, but please just let me explain."

"No," I shook my head, not wanting to get into this now.

"I don't want you to hate me, I'm sorry," he bowed his head, hiding away his emotions from me.

"I don't hate you, I love you, that's why I'm so disappointed. I just don't want to talk about any of it right now, please Harry," I begged him, not wanting to continue on with feeling broken and miserable today. I just wanted everything to pause, and let me process.

"Okay...there's something I want to talk about, and I want to tell you now so you don't think I've kept this from you."

Was he going to tell me about Bella? I was sure my father would have filled him in on me knowing about it. Maybe he was going to tell me about his conversation with Jake, all I could do was wait and listen to what he was going to say.

I looked at him, keeping silent to let him speak. When he accepted that I wouldn't be responding, he took it as a sign to begin.

"Willow just told me promotion for the new album starts next week. They want to shoot a bunch of stuff before the break starts, so they've added two weeks onto the initial schedule. I'd have to leave on Tuesday, but if you want me here I'll stay, you're more important to me," he curled his fingers around my arm.