Something Infinite

Chapter 20

Jen's POV

Two weeks had passed much quicker than I thought they would. Two weeks of secrecy proved to be a difficult task every time Harry said he missed me, and couldn't wait to see me again in December. Little did he know that tonight I would be on a flight to London with our daughter, and only hours away from being with him again.

MTV had managed to organise a private plane for our team, which made me feel a little more at ease travelling with a baby. I didn't need fellow passengers taking sneaky photos, at the off chance they recognised me, or complaining if Mia was unsettled during the flight.

The schedule was pretty tight, leaving no room for leisure between landing and the interview. I would get ready on the plane, then head straight to the location they were conducting the under wraps media day.

Harry never liked those, he described them as draining and repetitive. He had no idea of the media attending- I had sussed him out on the phone last night, trying to figure out if he knew my work would be in attendance. He said he wasn't bothered who was there, because he just wanted to get in and out as fast as he could.

He still hadn't mentioned Mia's birth to anyone, even though people had been speculating and asking him if he'd be home for the birth. His team warned everyone not to mention my pregnancy at all during the interviews, but somehow a couple had managed to sneak the questions in. He declined to comment, and they proceeded to ask other questions.

I thought it would be nice if we announced it together, on my home turf. That way I had control over what would be said, and how much I wanted to share with the world.

Mia was laying on the bed beside my suitcase, kicking about and squealing at the mobile toys I had set up above her. She was growing more and more everyday, she would be one month old tomorrow. I couldn't believe how fast time was passing by, and how soon my little baby wouldn't be so little anymore.

"Are you excited to go see daddy?" I shadowed over her, taking her little hand up to my lips. She was a happy baby, I didn't really have much trouble with her often, looking after her solo was more manageable than I thought it would be.

Everyday I waited for the sudden turn, where she would not stop crying, and I would be on the verge of a mental breakdown. So far the day hadn't come, and I counted myself lucky for that. Clearly I was doing something right, for her to be so well behaved and content.

"You know, your dad has the most beautiful voice like no other I've heard. I can't wait for you to hear it, would you like that?" I smiled down at her.

She gave me a smile back, well to me it was a smile, but to the experts it was just wind- a reflex smile. I knew she couldn't exactly understand what I was saying, but I would take it as agreement with what I had said. Watching Harry sing to our daughter, would fill my heart with so much more love and admiration, than I think I even had room for.

I'd found so much peace and acceptance in my life in the last two weeks, and finally started letting things go and heal, along with Natalie's help. She really was a God sent to me, I didn't know how I'd managed to stay sane and keep myself together this long, without her.

She'd helped me grow and mature, and learn to let things go that I didn't even know I was holding on to. I was already starting to feel so much more calm and at ease in my life, and my anxiety was at an all time low recently, thanks to her help.

I decided I would write the letter to myself once I was over in London, and read it to Harry before burning it. I wanted him to know all of me, and everything I had carried around with me, then I wanted him to be the first to watch me rid myself of my burdens, and move on with life, with him.