Something Infinite

Chapter 14

Harry's POV

I'd only been away from the comfort of my home for roughly ten hours, and was already undergoing an overwhelming sense of homesickness. Good start to a month away I thought, if I couldn't shake the feeling of longing for my family when I was barely out of the country, how was I expected to put on a smile and act as if my heart wasn't elsewhere?

Whether I was sleeping or awake, the feeling wasn't any better. When I closed my eyes I saw Jen's face, and when I opened them I missed her. Part of me resented the fact she came to the airport to say goodbye, because how was I meant to walk away from her when she had finally let down her walls? Why did she choose now? Should I have stayed? Was she really okay inside? So many question's spinning around my mind, that remained unanswered.

The other part of me, and much stronger part of me was relieved she did, because at least I got a proper goodbye with her. I had to believe she was going to better herself, and get back to the place she was before everything fell to pieces last week. I still had a little hope that she would bring Mia to London at some point, and both spend the remainder of whatever promo there was left, with me, but I couldn't push it by asking it of her.

I couldn't sit around and let my thoughts take over, I was going mad on this plane, and needed a distraction. Niall was seated towards the front, and Willow was in the cabin beside me asleep. I still had no explanation from him as to why he wasn't returning my calls last night, so I figured he would have to answer any questions I had now, since he had no where to escape to.

I walked over to his cabin, sliding open the door to see him watching some golf tournament. I love the sport myself, it was relaxing and a good escape from the world, but watching it on TV was the last thing I would ever put myself through.

"Hey," I slid the door closed again, moving his feet out of the way so I could sit in the reclined part of his chair.

"Haven't you got your own cabin? You want to sleep next to me tonight?" He laughed at my desire to spend the flight crammed in here with him.

"I'm bored and over thinking, plus I have questions for you, you can't avoid answering."

"Please don't ask me about yesterday," he shocked me by saying. Why wouldn't I? And why wouldn't he want to talk about it? His purpose of going to my house was to talk on my behalf and see what was going on in Jen's head.

"Well I'm going to ask..."

"I promised I wouldn't say anything."

Was he serious?

"Don't mess around with me, Niall. You pulled this shit last year, I am your best friend, if there's something I should know about the mother of my child, then you'll tell me."

I was pissed off with him and his loyalty to her, when it came to me. He had previously kept things from me because she asked him to, he wasn't going to do it again, I had a right to know what she said.

"This is nothing like that, trust me. She didn't tell you any of this because she knew you wouldn't get on the plane, and I promised I wouldn't say anything because of that," he defended his secrecy, which only pissed me off even more now.

"Niall, tell me what the f*ck is going on, or I swear to God as I sit here, I will go straight back to Australia the second this plane lands and find out myself. Obviously it's important if she thinks I would cancel my commitments for it, so I should know," I rose my voice a little more than I probably should have, but I was annoyed.

"Fine!" He snapped back at me, sitting up to finally tell me what was going on.

"She's just in a bad head space. She thinks she's a bad mum, and a bad girlfriend to you. She's angry with herself, she said it's a struggle to get through the day, and she doesn't understand why she feels like this. She hates herself Harry, I've never heard her talk like this before, is she normally like this?"