The Life I Want to Live ~Sequel to On The Run~

Chapter 59

"I'm so sorry Maddie, you really didn't have to make me anything." My mom said as she sat up in bed for the first time in days to eat the meal I brought her.

"It's ok mom I don't have anything else to do. Plus I feel like I haven't gotten the chance to talk to you lately." I confessed as I sat down on the edge of the bed and handed her the tray with a grilled cheese, a small bowl of fruit, and a glass of milk on it. "Have the doctors said anything about why this has become reoccurring every couple of weeks?" She shook her head 'no' making me nod solemnly. At first my mother went into a state we call 'doom and gloom' where she was bad for a period of almost four months all together when my father died. After that, when we thought she could possibly be coming out of it she started to drop back down every three weeks or so. The doctors have no idea why and now her depression isn't solely around my father's death, but just life in general. Just then there was a knock on the door as my grandma peeped her head into the room.

"Edward's here to see you Maddie, he said he'll wait by the front door until you're done talking to your mother." My grandma said as she shut the door quietly and retreated back down the hallway.

"Will you please tell him I'm sorry I haven't seen him for weeks? I feel terrible that I haven't even said hello and have just been up here for the past couple of days." My mom said as she took a big sip of milk and pushed the tray down with just half of the sandwich eaten and barely any fruit missing. Another side effect of these times, loss of appetite.

"I sure will mom. Feel better." I smiled as I took the tray and set it on the nightstand next to the bed before walking down the stairs and seeing Harry pacing around the front door. "Hi!" I squealed as I ran up behind him and wrapped my arms around his waist causing him to jump and turn around.

"Hey!" He smiled as he pulled me around and wrapped his arms around me. "How are you doing?"

"Great! My mom says hello!" I said as he leant down and kissed the top of my head.

"How's she doing?"

"Not that good, but I got her to eat something so it's a start."

"Is the doctor doing his job right? Do I need to hire a different one?"

"Everything's fine Harry, he actually just increased her medicines to make sure. So what brings you here?" I smiled changing the subject knowing he wouldn't just drop in to ask how I was doing.

"Gemma left this afternoon so I was wondering if you'd want to come over to my house for dinner? Just the two of us. And then maybe take a dip in my pool as it hasn't been used all summer?" I nodded my head excitedly in response.

"I'll go put on my suit and meet you back down here ok?" I asked as he nodded and I ran up to my room to put it on.

•

"And do you know what the craziest thing is out of all of this? I was sending checks every month to my mother and she never cashed any of them because she insisted they were being sent to the wrong Anne when it was clearly her name on every single one of them." Harry huffed as he rolled his eyes and took a sip of his pop. "Absolutely ridiculous and typical of my mother, she never wants to take anything from anyone but the one time I try to provide for her she refuses." Harry was briefly capping everything Gemma had told him about life in England in her brief three day stay here.

"Well at least Gemma will tell her that they're actually meant for her now and she will cash them." I said trying to calm his nerves down as we sat out on the porch eating a variety of things Harry had the chef prepare for us. "So did you have a good time with her?"

"Yes it was really nice, the only thing I regret is not showing her Dawn. Huskies are her favorite dog-damn it!" Harry cursed as he threw his chip down on the table and pulled at his hair.

"Wha-what?!" I asked frantically as I put my hand on his knee scared from his reaction.

"I forgot to give her a picture of us in Norway, that was the one thing I told my self I had to do-"

"Wait-wait it's ok, I gave her one." I smiled as he looked up at me confusedly.

"What when?"

"She came over after she said goodbye to you, to say goodbye to me before she left. I had a picture of all of us and I gave it to her before she left so she could show your mom." I smiled as Harry stood up and pulled me up with him.

"I don't know what I'd do without you." He said sincerely as he pulled me into his chest and gave me a kiss on the top of my head. I just 'hmmed' in response happy to be in his arms. "Now how about we take a dip?" He smirked as he pulled at my coverup making me roll my eyes as I backed away from him. He slowly pulled his shirt and shorts off leaving him in his swim trunks as he looked at me to do the same. I pulled my coverup off, turning away in the process so I wouldn't have to look at him, and once I got it all the way off I felt his arms wrap around my waist.

"Harry don't you dare!" I screamed as he lifted me up and plunged us both into the pool without warning. I swam up to the surface and glared at him as he pulled my face in for a kiss. He then grabbed my thighs pulling them around his waist as he rested up against the pool wall.

"Could you wear this all the time?" He mumbled onto my lips making me pull back and glare at him in response. "What? That was a valid question."

"Whatever Styles." I smirked as I swam away over to the steps of the pool.

"Alright I'll just ask another one!" Harry shouted as he swam, following me to the pool steps. "Would you ever consider taking my last name?" He asked making me choke on my spit and look up at him with wide eyes.

"What?" I asked completely stunned from the question. "I mean...marrying a criminal wasn't really on my bucket list." I said awkwardly making Harry send a look of disapproval at me as he crawled behind me, sitting on the steps and positioning me to have my back laying up against his chest.

"You know I'm trying to change for you. Yes I can never go by my birth name or-"

"Or sign marriage papers because you'll be caught." I commented making him pull his arms around my waist even tighter.

"I'm doing the best I can, and that was a valid question which I haven't received an answer to yet."

"Yeah alright, I'll answer your question." I agreed as I nestled my head into his shoulder and looked up at the stars. "Considering the circumstances...which will never be normal, I would say yes, but...Harry you killed my father and I know you can't fix the past but you just have to know that if anything that will be the hardest part of saying yes. Not because you aren't good enough or you haven't tried hard enough to make my life better, but because I won't have him to walk me down the aisle to marry you...because of you." I said truthfully as I leaned over and kissed his chest making him grumble to himself.

"That was just a stupid question." He mumbled making me turn over and look at him straight in the eyes.

"Stop doing that. We've made amends, you've just made amends with your sister, nothing I just said goes against any of the progress we've made up until now. I'm happy. You're happy. And until it gets to the point where we need something more to keep us together like a wedding ring, I'm perfectly fine staying like this. Ok?" I asked as he nodded his head silently staring into my eyes still. "Don't beat yourself up I hate when you do that."

"I hate when you're right."

"I thought you hated when I swore?" I asked cocking an eyebrow.

"I hate that too."