Things I Could Never Tell You

40, 41, 42

Text #40.

February 8, 7:14 pm.

I was looking through your pictures on Instagram. You deleted most of your old ones, except one where there's you and me on it. You had your arms wrapped around my waist and I had my head buried on your neck. My hair was falling into my face, making it not appear on the picture. The legend read: I'll go wherever you'll go, S.
A small tear stroked from my eye when I read this. You deleted the rest of them. Your posts from now on only involve pictures with your new friends and with her. I screenshoted a picture of you that you posted some weeks ago. You look so different. More grown up, more mature. It's like a daily reminder of how much you've changed. You changed imminently and so did your priorities. And I was one of them.

Text #41.

February 9, 7:31 pm.

Lol, today an eyelash fell from my eye to my cheek. I was staring at the mirror when I saw it. I decided I'd just do that silly joke they do and make a wish. I placed the fallen eyelash on the back of my hand before throwing it over my shoulder. I tried to think of something I'd want. I tried to make my mind think of a trip to Paris, a never ending pool of Ruffles or even a guy who'd love me back. But all I could think about was you. I closed my eyes and opened them some seconds later. The eyelash wasn't stuck anymore.

Text #42.

February 10, 5:52 pm.

Maybe you left me because I'm too sad. Maybe because my hair was always messy. Maybe because I wasn't like the other girls. Maybe because I wore people out. Maybe that's because everyone I love ends up leaving me eventually. Gosh, I'm drowning in the things I never told you and in the things I never will tell you.