Things I Could Never Tell You

133, 134, 135

Text #133.

May 10, 9:41 pm.

Today we ended up sitting next to each other in biology. You tried to catch my attention by scratching your nose and coughing a couple of times, but I just pretended to not see those signals. You threw me a small piece of paper. After some minutes, I picked it up from the floor and opened it discretely so that Mr. Cravens wouldn't see me with it. My eyes widened as soon as I read it.
It was written on a neat handwriting: I miss you, S.
You were glancing at me and waiting for a response. I folded the paper and threw it in my backpack without glancing sideways. You miss me? You really do? Because it sure as hell didn't seem like it when you had your tongue shoved down her throat.

Text #134.

May 11, 12:52 pm.

Oh my God. Library boy just came to talk to me. I was quietly sitting on a table at the cafeteria when he came in and sat beside me. For the few first seconds, I didn't notice it was him. So then I lifted up my chin and widened my eyes almost automatically. He chuckled due to my reaction.

"So?" He asked, lifting his eyebrows up like he was waiting for an answer or so.

"U-Uh, h-hey..." I stammered, tucking a loose strand of hair behind my ear.

"Whatcha doin'?" He asked, smiling.

"I-I was... eating..." I answered, looking over to my plate. His gaze was fixated on me and he smiled as soon as he looked at my lips.

"What?" I asked, frowning a bit.

"Uh," he laughed. "You got some ketchup on your mouth," He said, getting his thumb and taking the catchup off the corner of my mouth.

"Oh," I murmured.

"So, I'm guessing last time. We saw each other was at a the party," he smiled sheepishly.

I closed my eyes in embarrassment and buried my head in my arms.

"Hey, it's okay." He laughed. I was feeling ridiculous.

"No, it's not." I muttered, running my hands through my hair. "I kissed you and I don't even know your name." I said, letting out a deep sigh.

"Trust me, it wasn't what I was waiting for, but it was nothing bad. And I mean nothing bad, really." He told me and I laughed.

"I'm so sorry. Really, I am. I was just kind of wasted and clearly out of myself." I explained, chewing my bottom lip.

"We all are sometimes," He let out a cute grin. "Perhaps we can start over," He said.

"That would be everything I'm needing right now," I said and meant it.

"Then okay, shall we?" He smiled and stretched his hand to me, offering me to shake it.

I stretched my hand and shook his. "I'm Stephanie," I said awkwardly.

"The name's Cameron." he said and took a sip out of his water bottle. "But my friends call me Cam." He smiled.

I offered him a forced smile. It was awkward enough to have to say sorry for kissing him, imagine restarting again.

Text #135.

May 12, 8:44 am.

I don't even know how I could have been so stupid. I actually thought that I could only have the will to forget you and then touché, I would. Gosh, if only I had known that it's not that simple. But how is it exactly that you kill a feeling? How to you un-love someone?