Mine

Chapter Eight

I shrink down from Dirk as he yells. I knew I should have told him. It's like a reason you yell at the character in the movies who makes out with her boyfriends best friend when she's drunk and doesn't say anything, then the secret comes out and they break up. "Dirk I don't know why I did ok? It wasn't meant to happen. I didn't mean anything by it. I didn't tell you because I thought you would be mad, but I should have told you."

"I can't believe you would do that to me. Jake never even did that."

"Dirk I'm sorry."

"You're sorry because you got caught."

"No, I really am sorry. I shouldn't have done that and I know it. I don't know what happen, I don't know why I did that. Please, please forgive me." I reach out for Dirk and he stands up.

"I don't think I can. I really thought... I thought we... really had something. As messed up as it is."

"Dirk please don't." I stand up, and Dirk looks away from me.

"I don't want to see you right now, just let me think about this for a while." Dirk starts for his room but I run ahead of him.

"Please don't ignore me like you do, I can't take it much more. I know I fucked up, I know I should know better. I don't know how I could do that to you. I really love you, I don't feel anything toward Jake but a vague dislike."

"Then why'd you kiss him."

"I said I don't know."

"Then I think it's best if you leave me alone for a bit. I'm really mad at you, and kind of sad too." I step aside and Dirk goes to his room. I hear the click of his lock and know I don't stand a chance of getting in. I can't move away though. I'm frozen to the stop. I bite my lip and and close my eyes. I have to figure out why I did that. I have to or else I don't have a chance of getting Dirk back. There's only one person I know that seems knows everything.

My eyes snap open and I grab my car keys. I didn't pay Dirk back yet, but I'm sure he won't mind. I head to grocery store I was working at. As soon as I'm there I start looking for Gamzee. He has my number, but he never texted me. I don't see him out front so I head through the store. When I still don't see him I head to the back of the store outside. There's still no sign of him. "Damn it!" I kick the wall and instantly regret it as a sharp pain goes through my leg. I lean my back against the wall and slide down it. "I'm so fucked."

"Why?" I startle at the voice of Gamzee.

"Where were you? I was looking for you." Gamzee smiles and sits down next to me.

"Replenishing my stash."

"Oh."

"What happened?"

"I did something and I don't know why and I need to fix it."

"So you come to me? Man you must be really stupid."

"I am." I lean my head against the wall. "You know I'm with my brother, but literally the day his ex boyfriend broke up with him we got together. His ex boyfriend kissed me today and I kissed him back. I don't know why and now my brother is mad."

"Well, he should be."

"I know that. What I don't know is why I kissed Jake back." Gamzee pulled out a cigarette and lit it up. He took a puff of it before speaking.

"Do you think you did it because you wanted to see why your brother was with him?"

"I don't think so."

"Maybe it was because you wanted to know what it was like to kiss him?"

"No."

"Do you like him?"