Mine

Chapter Thirty Seven

I lean my back against my bedroom door and bite my tongue trying to distract myself. I can't believe what I just saw. Dirk and I've been broken up for two days and he's already moved on. God I feel so stupid. I slide down my door and hide my face in my hands. I can hear the rustle of clothing as Dirk and Jake struggle to get decent in record time. There's some mumbles from Jake, but absolute silence from Dirk. Eventually I hear a you better get out of here from Dirk. There's a kissing sound before I hear the front door opening and closing. I wipe the tears from my eyes, but I don't get up from my spot on the floor in front of the door. I hear Dirks footsteps and then he tries to open the door. "Dave?"

I can't believe what I just saw. I trusted Dirk to not go right back to Jake. He turned Jake down in the past, but of course he would go back to him now. He never loved me the way he loved Jake. He stayed with Jake for so long and put up with so much shit. Of course he'd go back to him. I should have expected this. I feel so stupid. I can't get the damn image out of my head. It hurts so bad knowing I'm not the only one for Dirk, even if he's the only one for me. "Dave, come on. Open up."

In a flash I'm standing up and throwing the door open. Dirk actually flinches a little bit when he sees me. He's brought my bags in but left them by the front door. There's a few seconds where we're just staring at each other. He doesn't even look guilty. He just pisses me off so much. I never expected him to do that. Before I know it I'm aiming for the spot between his eyes and throwing a punch. Dirk narrowly escapes it and I throw some more determined to hit him. He grabs at my hands, but I'm so mad at him he can't stop me. "I hate you." I sob running out of energy. Tears are starting to well up in my eyes again so I pull away from Dirk's grip only to end up on the floor. I can tell Dirk doesn't know what to do. I rub my eyes and I know how absolutely wrecked I look right now. I hate that too.

"Dave you broke up with me." Dirk's voice is low. He's speaking like he's talking to an injured animal.

"Two fucking days ago! You never gave us time to talk it out!"

"That's because you didn't let me! I called you and texted you after that and I just got ignored!"

"Because I was angry! We shouldn't be discussing something like that when we're angry!" Dirk crosses his arms and stares me down. He wants to call bull shit because we both know I just ignored him to ignore him and not because of my award winning excuse right now.

"When Jake broke up with you, you didn't fuck me the next day."

"Dave!"

"You like him better don't you."

"No!" Dirk runs a hand through his hair. It's a sign that he's frustrated, and so am I.

"Then why were you letting him ride your-"

"Because you hurt me Dave! You ignored me for two fucking months and then when I get a hold of you, you break up with me. Then you ignore me again. You did everything you said you weren't going to do." Dirk actually looks kind of sad for a second, but he's in the wrong here.

"You left when we were fighting and I had to do something back."

"Dave that-"

"I know I mess up! I've done it before and I will keep messing up. But you, I didn't mess up as bad as you."

"We aren't together Dave, you're freaking out over nothing." Dirk turns away from me and I flashstep to him and push him as hard as I can. He stumbles forward and turns around with anger in his eyes.

"Remember how you felt when Jake kissed me? I didn't even let that happen on purpose. Imagine how much worse it is for me now. You weren't just kissing him Dirk. You two were fucking out on the futon like I never existed." I finally see a flash of guilt in his eyes before it disappears.