Mine

Chapter Thirty Nine

Back to Dave's point  of view from now on.

Something wasn't right. I was awake, but I couldn't open my eyes. I tried like hell, but I couldn't get through the darkness. I felt heavy, and kind of sore. I wonder where I am, and why Dirk isn't here. It crossed my mind that maybe I'm dead, but every so often there was a faint beeping sound. I guess I was in the hospital. Maybe under the influence of some drugs, or maybe in a coma who knows. I just knew something wasn't right. If I was alive, I was about to die. I could feel it. Everything felt so wrong, and there was nothing I could do about it. I couldn't even cry.

I was stuck in this darkness, and it was killing me. Sometimes I'd be in more pain than other times and I couldn't even see why. It was frustrating, and I missed Dirk. He would know what's going on and he would calm me down. He always knew what was going on, and he always calmed me down. Well... most of the time. The more I thought about him the more I remembered what lead up to the car accident. Dirk and I were arguing, he reached for me and I pulled away from him. It wasn't his fault, it was mine. I was being childish. I had doubted his love for me, but I knew when I saw his face that I was wrong.

I had to give Dirk the chance to explain, if I ever wake up that is. I feel like I've been surrounded by darkness for weeks. Then suddenly something gently touches me. I'm not quite sure where or who yet. I try my hardest to break free of the darkness, but it doesn't work. I feel so frustrated and tired of struggling. I start to give up. There's no end to this I'm going to suffer forever.

"Dave please." The voice was Dirk's, but I couldn't see him. I tried to call out for him, but nothing came out of my mouth. Not even a gasp. "I need you Dave. So for fucks sake open your eyes." I wanted to scream at him that I was trying and he didn't understand, but again nothing came out. Although this time I was crying. I could feel it. Then I felt somebody wipe away my tears and then I heard a gentle humming. Dirk was humming to me. I wanted to laugh because I could just imagine him holding my hand and humming.

I tried to croak Dirk's name, but my throat hurt and something wasn't right there. My eyes finally fluttered open. Dirk didn't hear me. I wasn't loud enough and there was something in my mouth. I started panicking and tried reaching for my throat. Dirk noticed and caught my hand.

"Dave? Oh my god Dave your awake." Dirk grabs my hand and I hear the monitors slowing down. He calmed my panic. Tears pricked my eyes and Dirk was quick to wipe them away. "Calm down Dave, it's ok. I'm here, and you're fine." He reaches for my hair and then hesitates. I feel a little whimper sound trying to escape and Dirk reaches all the way forward to run his fingers through my hair. He looks like he's about to cry too.

"You know I'm not supposed to be here. I had to come check on you. I told the doctor I just wanted to know what was wrong with you. Dave I'm so sorry. This is all my fault." I shook my head negatively, but Dirk ignored it. "Dave your right lung collapsed and your right kidney was crushed. And oh god you broke so many ribs and you're other kidney is bruised. It's suppose to heal, but it will take a while so they want to replace the crushed kidney. Mom, dad, and I all got tested to see if we were a match. We won't know for a few days, but I'm going to try and find one for you if we don't match. The fucker ran you over too. You're right femur is broken. Do you know how hard that is to break?"

I couldn't say anything. All I could do was try to wake up more. Everything seemed a little blurry. It was like trying to see through a haze or a fog. Dirk was rambling on, and that usually is my big thing but he does tend to ramble when he's nervous. I zone out as he continues on with his speech that I'm not suppose to interrupt. Which sucks because I really can't interrupt him. I gently try to pry my hand away from his and I can see a little fear in his eyes and he hovers between reaching for my hand again and continuing his speech. He drops both to just stare into my eyes and I don't understand where the fear in his eyes is coming from. I'm awake is there really anything else for him to fear.