Word Count: 1024
Type Of Imagine: THE FEELS
I laid on my bedroom floor, staring into a distance. I could feel my heart break more and more every second. I didn't know what to do.. I just wanted him with me. I want him here... beside me, holding me close to him.... It's been a week since he left me. I haven't eaten, showered, or talked to almost anyone. I heard my phone go off. I sat up to look at it. It was my mom.
Momma: Baby are you okay? Do you need anything?
She knew about Shawn and I because I told her, she was the only person I talked to this past week and she's the only one who knew about what happened. All my friends left me because they were only my friends because I was dating Shawn. I texted mom back saying that I was fine and didn't wanna talk to anyone. She understood and I put my phone away.
I got up and I walked to the bathroom. I turned on the light then looked at myself in the mirror. "I'm just a waste of space." I said. I've been getting tons of hate this past week and every single one of Shawn's fans want me to die, they want me to kill myself. I'm a waste of space, they say. I'm ugly, they say. Shawn deserves better, they say. I sigh then I looked down at the scars on my hand. Shawn was the reason why I was clean for the past year. Without him... It's hard to stay clean...
I looked through my drawers and found my blade. I put the little piece of metal in between my fingertips and sat in the bathtub. I sobbed hysterically as I remembered the last time I saw Shawn.
*Flashback*
I heard the front door open. I looked at the time. It was past midnight. I walked to the front door and looked at Shawn. "You're home late again." I sighed. He didn't say anything. Shawn walked to the kitchen. I followed him then said, "Shawn." He didn't even look at me. "Shawn what the hell?" I asked, turning him around to see me. "You've been coming home late for the past month and you don't tell me why."
"I've just been thinking okay?" he said.
"About what?" I asked, putting my hand on his arm. He moved it away. "Shawn" I sighed, "What's going on?"
"Y/N WE CAN'T BE TOGETHER ANYMORE!" he yelled, out of no where, causing me to flinch.
"w-why?" I asked, stuttering out of nervousness and fear.
"YOU CHEATED ON ME Y/N!" he yelled, slamming this fist onto the table. "YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THAT CASHIER AT STARBUCKS FOUR WEEKS AND TWO DAYS AGO!" He yelled.
"W-what are you talking about?" I asked, "I don't know what you're talking about." I said.
"YOU LET HIM FLIRT WITH YOU AND THEN YOU KISSED HIM, YOU PRACTICALLY SUCKED HIS FACE OFF." he yelled at me. He looked into my eyes. His eyes were no longer caring and loving, they were now filled with anger and hatred.
"But I didn't do th-" I said but then Shawn cut me off by slapping me. I held my hand on my stinging cheek.
"I don't ever want to see you again." he spat then stormed out of my life. I fell to the floor and cried hysterically. I felt my heart break into tiny little pieces inside my chest.
*flashback over*
I sobbed hysterically as I sat in the bathtub, staring at my blade. I picked up my phone and then clicked on Shawn's name. I heard it ring three times then go to voicemail. "Hey sorry I can't answer your phone call right now, I'm probably at the studio or cuddling with my girlfriend Y/N, anyways leave a voicemail and I'll call you back when I get the chance." I heard Shawn's voice say. The voicemail beeped, signaling me that it was time or me to talk.
"H-hey Shawn, it's me Y/N." I spoke, trying to catch my breath. "I just wanted to say that I love you, with all my heart. I would never cheat and I didn't. I love you and only you. There is nothing in the world that can change that. The thought of you hating me for the rest of your life hurts me so much that.... my heart breaks. My whole life I've only loved one person and that was you. I remember when we made a promise... and you might remember it too. Anyways, I'm about to break that promise and I'm so sorry.... I just can't live in a life without you anymore... I give up..... I love you Shawn. Goodbye." I said then ended the voicemail.
I stood up then walked into my room. I changed into one of Shawn's sweatshirts, inhaling his aroma. I missed him too much. I walked back into the bathroom and looked at myself in the mirror. I shook my head. "I'm a mess." I said. I picked up the blade, setting it gently on my skin, then didn't move a muscle.
"Y/N!" I heard a familiar voice yell. I shook my head, I must be going crazy.
I sat in the corner and cut my wrist, the blood slow dripping down my arm. I cried hysterically. I just wanted him to come back, and hold me in his arms. "Y/N!" I heard the voice yell again, followed by a door opening. That must've been my bedroom door. I looked up to see the bathroom door fly open to see Shawn standing there. He ran over to me and grabbed the blade, throwing it into the toilet, flushing it. He pulled e into his grasp and hugged me tightly. "Shhh." He said calmly, "Don't cry." he said.
"I'm sorry." I sobbed.
"Don't be." he said, wiping my tears away. "I overreacted and put all my stress and anger out on you." he said. "I yelled at you when I didn't I the right to." he spoke.
"I love you so much." I said as I cried into his chest.
"I love you more." Shawn said, kissing my temple.
