Save Me from Myself

Chapter 10

*This chapter contains gory descriptions of self harm, so please beware*
Cali's POV

Its hard trying to forget the past, I've been trying to for so many years. There's some things that i don't want to forget about though, like Addy. However, maybe if i forget about what happened, i could maybe be normal again. A "normal" teenage girl.

When I was 6, my Dad was hit by a drunk driver, and that event changed the whole course of my life. My dad's death made my mother go pretty much insane. She would beat me, and she completely ignored 2 year old Addison. I didn't know what to do, so I would act like a mom to Addy and ignore the beatings. It was like that for a long time, and then I eventually got my mom to see a doctor. She was better for a while, and the beatings stopped. However, she would scream horrific things to me, like how she wished I had died instead of my dad. You don't say those things to your depressed 12 year old daughter.

I kept her away from Addison, but by doing that she said even worse things to me, and told me that I was stealing her only daughter. I took antidepressants that I found in her cupboards, but that didn't work for very long. My mom would threaten to kill me and Addison if I said anything to the police, so there was nothing I could do.

Then, things got really bad. My mom would throw heavy things at me, like chairs or vases, and it was all too much for me. I was 14. I started hurting myself, hoping that it would maybe hurt more than my heart already did. I cleaned my own blood off of the bathroom floor daily. I stopped eating completely too. I thought that if i was skinny and beautiful, my mom might actually be proud of me. Maybe she would stop screaming those terrible things at me. Maybe she would stop hurting me. When she didn't, i decided i wasn't skinny enough yet. "Just a few more days, then I'll start eating again." I would say to myself. That day never came.

One day, my mom was a rampage. She was screaming things like "I WISH I HAD KILLED YOU WHEN I HAD THE CHANCE" and "YOU'RE SUCH A WORTHLESS PIECE OF SHIT, JUST DIE ALREADY CALLIOPE." 11 year old Addison was under the bed, crying and asking mom to stop.

"MAYBE I WILL. THEN MAYBE I WON'T BE SUCH A DISAPPOINTMENT" I cried. I ran into the bathroom and carved words into my poor, delicate skin: "Disappointment" "Worthless" "Fat" "Help me" "I'm sorry" and "Goodbye"

As the blood dripped down my body, I sobbed and grabbed the antidepressants. I shoved a handful down my throat, and after a moment, I panicked. I tried to throw them up, but I was unsuccessful. I screamed and dialed 911 on my phone "HELP. PLEASE HELP". I cried, and my vision began to blur. I was so scared. I never thought that I would die like this. In a puddle of blood and tears, my vision went completely black.

I woke up 2 days later in the hospital. Addison was asleep right next to me, but my mom was nowhere in sight. I felt my skin burning like fire, and so I lifted my hospital gown. I gasped as I saw what I had done to my own skin. It was bloody, and there were marks all over my body. My arms, thighs, legs, hips, and stomach were completely covered. I tried to choke back all the tears.

When my mom came into my room, she said nothing, and took Addison away from me. That was the last time i saw her.

A few weeks passed, and my mother told the doctors that i was dangerous and that i should be sent to a mental hospital, and they listened to her. They sent me to the asylum, where I met Joey and Layla. They tried to help me, but in all honesty, I'm not worth the stress. There's no chance that I will ever be normal after all that, it's not possible.

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Sorry about the gore. And the depressing chapter. I thought that Cali needed a backstory, so there ya go. Thanks for reading!
♡♡Christal