Save Me from Myself

Chapter 63

Esme's POV

I wish this pregnancy would just be over already. It's been 6 months, and I'm tired of it. My stomach is huge. I'm so depressed. Layla is being a bipolar bitch. Cali has yet to come back. It hasn't been a good week.

"Esmeralda? You have a doctor's appointment today, get ready." One of the nurses instructed.

I groaned, "Fine. Give me a few minutes."

When I was ready, I walked outside and got into the car. One of the nicer nurses, Mrs. Liz, was there, thank god, and a driver. The hospital was pretty close, so it only took a few minutes to get there. We waited in the waiting room for a while, and I watched Chopped on the small tv.

"Mrs. Knight? Esmeralda?" Someone asked. I got up and walked into the room with the doctor.

"Hello Esmeralda, I'm Dr. Xu. Today we're going to do a fetal monitoring and a 2nd trimester ultrasound, okay?" She said, talking really fast. She probably drank too much coffee, no one is that energetic on purpose.

"Yeah okay. Just tell me if he's okay or not, that's all I care about." I answered, laying down on the 'bed'.

"You don't want to see him?" She asked.

I shook my head, "Nope. I have too much good on right now, and I don't want to see him before I give birth."

She nodded, "Well.. okay. Sweetie, can I ask you a question?"

I sighed, "Sure. Have at it." Even though I knew exactly what she was going to ask.

"You're so young... why..." She started, but I interrupted her.

"I was raped and I don't have the heart to get rid of the babies. So, here I am." I answered quickly.

She frowned at me, "Um... you only have one child on the way?"

I groaned, "I had a miscarriage. Now are you going to keep on asking me about my personal business, or can we hurry this up so I can go back to the asylum and sleep?"

Her eyes widened a bit when I said asylum, and she started with all the tests. I didn't exactly pay attention, I just waited for her to tell me what was going on.

When it was all done, she said "He's okay, but there are some minor issues with his health. Have you had a significant amount of alcohol or done any drugs that would've caused these?"

I sighed, "Drugs."

"Which ones?" She asked, squinting at me. "If I may ask."

I took a deep breath, "Cocaine and heroin."

She gasped a little, "Heroin??? That's highly addictive, have you been having withdrawals?"

I stayed silent for a second.

She looked down and massaged her temples, "You're kidding, right?"

I shook my head, "I really did try to stop. But it hurt. And I started feeling the weight of everything weighing down on me... it was only a few times. I'll stop. "

"Where the hell have you been getting heroin???" She asked.

I sighed again, "Still my business, but if you have to know there's people at the asylum that have... resources. When they learn why you're there, they provide what you need. But that's not the point, the point is I'm stopping and how is it gonna effect my baby?"

"God, teens these days are stupid. Don't deny it. And I'm not completely sure. Low blood sugar, premature birth, low birth weight for sure. "

I sighed, "Okay. Thank you. Can I go now?" She nodded and sighed as I walked away.

"Esmeralda?" She asked.

"Esme."

"Esme. You really do need to stop. That boy is counting on you to get better and take care of him, even if you can't see it. If you can't stop for him, then you shouldn't be a mom." She claimed.

I nodded, "I know. The problem is, I know I shouldn't be a mom anyway. How am I supposed to stop for a baby that shouldn't even exist?"

She chuckled, "He exists for a reason."

I sighed and got into the car, looking and feeling like shit.

"You okay, hun?" The nurse asked.

I took another deep breath, "No. I have to tell you something. That guy, Quinn, on floor 2 has been giving me and a bunch of other people drugs."

"WHAT?" She exclaimed, "YOU'VE BEEN TAKING DRUGS?? YOU DUMBASS. YOU'RE PREGNANT, ESME!!"

"Don't yell at me, I know. That's why I told you. Can you take care of it?" I asked, hopefully.

She rolled her big, brown eyes at me, "Of course. But you're still a dumbass."

I smiled, "Thanks Liz. I owe you one."

She nodded, "Yes you do. And I'm assuming you want to be anonymous?"

"Yeah, if that's possible. What'll happen to him?" I asked, even though I knew I didn't want to know the answer.

She tilted her head at me, "What he deserves. I mean he's giving drugs to addicts, what kind of a douche does that??? And I'm sure it's not for your benefit, he's probably gonna hold it against you someday as a favor."

I nodded, "Yeah that's true. But it'll be better now, right?"

She looked down at her feet, "Maybe for others, but you're pregnant. Not only are you going to go through pregnancy, you're going to have withdrawals and a baby with defects. You're gonna go through hell for a while."

I glared at her, "Thanks for the optimism." She smirked at me and took me inside to the cafeteria.

I saw Joey and Layla sitting at a table and I made a decision.

I walked over to them and hugged Layla from behind. "Who the fuck--- Esme? Hi there. Thanks for the hug, I'm not sure why you're hugging me but alright." And she hugged me back.

Joey grinned, "Aw look at my two little drama queens being friends again! If only my other little drama queen was back, then we would be a family again!"

Layla whacked him on the head, "Yeah yeah." And I sat next to them.

"Speaking of the other drama queen, has anyone talked to Cali?" I asked, grabbing a handful of grapes.

Joey dropped his toast and exclaimed, "OH SHIT WE FORGOT TO TELL YOU! Yeah! They found her sister and Cali decided to be even more psychotic than usual and she tried to get Addison, but she got shot in the stomach---"

"WHAT THE FUCK, SHE WAS SHOT???" I YELLED.

"AND they couldn't get Addison so she's still with the kidnappers. Cali called us a while ago." He finished.

"Goddamn. I missed a lot." I mumbled.

"Yep! But you're back now. And you have to tell us what happened at the hospital right now!!" Layla said excitedly.

I started biting my lip, and decided to come clean. "Of course, but before I do that, I have to tell you guys something. I've been doing drugs. More specifically... heroin."

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Goddamn that took a long time! Sorry that it took so long! Thank you for reading, I hope you enjoyed the chapter!
♡♡Christal