Save Me from Myself

Chapter 72

Cali's POV

I always thought that seeing the light go out of people's eyes right when they die was a myth. I always thought that the light would remain in their eyes, or at least that's what I hoped..

Our guns were pointed at each other, and all I wanted to do was shoot him, but I knew that if I didn't kill him with the first shot, he would kill me.

"Cali?" Addison whimpered.

"What is it Ad? Are you in a lot of pain?" I asked, not taking my eyes off of the man.

"Yes I am. Kill that asshole."

So I shot.

But so did he.

I heard the shot, and immediately knew who it was aimed at. How do you kill someone without actually killing them?

You kill someone they love.

"ADDISON!!" I screamed, tears pouring out of my eyes. I ran to her and scooped up her body into my arms. "I love you, Addy. You're going to be okay, you can't leave me here. Not like this." I sobbed.

She smiled a little at me, "Cali. I knew you would come. Don't be so dramatic, I'm not dead.

I smiled and wiped away my tears, "You scared me. I thought you were gone."

She blinked a little, "Not yet anyway. But Cali----"

I interrupted her, "No, no buts. You're going to be fine, and we're going to go out for ice cream."

She grinned, "I love ice cream."

"I know. And then we're going to make sure that that douche didn't shoot on of your arteries."

She smiled even more, "He didn't. Just my thigh. But it still hurts like hell. I'm glad you came for me, I thought I was gonna die here in this house. Dying here would be the worst thing." She said, hugging me. "You saved me once again."

Then I heard a second gunshot.

Addison's body went completely limp in my arms.

"No..." I whimpered. I grasped my gun and turned around to see the same man holding a gun and bleeding from his stomach.

"NOT MY FUCKING SISTER YOU FUCKING DOUCHEBAG. " And I shot him right in the head.

I fell to the floor next to Addison, "I'm here, I'm here Addison. I'm never leaving you again." I cried, grabbing my gun. I pulled her onto my lap and kissed her cheek, then I lifted my gun to my head.

"CALI STOP." Collins screamed. He ran at me and took the gun from me.

"That's not the answer Cali."

I sobbed and held Addison like my life depended on it. "I want to die Collins. Please, please let me go with her. Please." I begged, sobbing.

I felt my entire will to live go away at that moment. I don't believe in a god or any of that, but when I felt my will to live leave, I knew that Addison had left as well.

"Cali please, let's go. I know this is hard, but you have to let go." Collins coerced.

My entire body was numb and I curled up in a ball, still holding my little sister. "Why her. Why not me. Why." I screamed, choking on my sobs. "Why couldn't it have been me? She didn't deserve this."

My little sister was born on August 4th, 2002. I remember holding her for the first time, and being jealous because of how beautiful she already was. Her eyes were bright and full of life. I loved her more than I loved myself, and I knew that she was going to be the moving force in my life.

My little sister died on October 24, 2016. She died in my arms, exactly where she was meant to die. Her eyes were bright until the last second, just as they should've been. She loved life, and she died with a smile on her face. That's all I could ever ask for.

Is that enough? No. She deserved the universe, and all she got was a a forest. Is that fair? No. Not at all.

I went back to the station like that hadn't happened. But it did. Collins left me in the station, and I knew exactly what was going to happen. I began to write.

It wasn't fate, it was me. It was my decision to do it. No one will ever understand why I did what I did, but I do. That's all that matters to me.

This time it wasn't out of pity for myself and my shitty life. It was out of pure sorrow. The loss of a loved one is more then painful. It rips all the life right out of your body, and I wasn't ready to go through that yet another time.

Don't worry about me, I'm sure I'll be fine. I know everyone will worry about where I go, but it doesn't matter. I'll be gone. I'll see my dad again. I'll see my sister again. Life will go on without me.

The sun will rise and a new day will come. I'm sorry to everyone who ever cared about me. It's the end of the road for me, but it's not the end for you. Keep living and make your life worth while. Please. My life, even though it was short, was worth while. I helped many people out of the depths of their personal hell, I just couldn't help myself, and that's nothing to be ashamed of. I love you, and I hope that you forgive me. I'm doing this so I can be at peace, please respect that.

Remember me, that's all I ask. Remember what I went through and remember what I did. Remember the good parts of me, like my love for friendship and ice cream.

Don't remember the tears. The anorexia. The scars. The pain. That's not me, that's who I became. Who am I really?

Calliope Arianna Haile. The girl who remembered. Not the girl who ripped herself to shreds, or cried herself to sleep.

Calliope Arianna Haile. The girl who sang with all of her heart. Not the girl who screamed and hoped someone would kill her.

Calliope Arianna Haile. The girl who loved the stars and who would do anything to be among them, swimming in the endless ocean of the universe. Not the fuck up she thought she was.

I'm done now. I've reached the end of my small world, and I will no longer be breathing in a few minutes. Don't have pity for me, I'm where I want.

I love you all. Please remember me. Never forget.

Calliope Arianna Haile

Ps. Bury me right next to Addy.

Then, I pulled the trigger of a gun one last time.