Save Me from Myself

Chapter 39

*Please don't get offended by Cali's religious belief that is stated in this part. I try my best to leave all aspects of religion out of my stories, but this chapter has very some. Thanks for understanding*

Cali's POV
*This chapter is in Cali's POV, and this is what she is thinking as she lies in bed.*
Note to self: Quit making friends with people that lie and are just going to hurt you.
It's harder than you think, making good friends. There's very few good people left in the world, and the ones that are good are cooped up in their house, afraid to come out. They're afraid that they'll become as awful as everyone else.

Do I consider myself to be one of those people? No. Hell no. I know what kind of person I am, and its definitely not the girl I had hoped to be when I was younger. When my dad was still alive, I knew exactly who I wanted to be. I knew what I wanted to do with my life. But then he died. I think that when he died, so did I.

When he died, I lost all my faith. I decided there was no God. If there was, why would he take my dad away from me? Why would he make me go through everything that I've been through? Why would he make my little sister deal with my psychotic mother?

When he died, I lost all my confidence. I looked in the mirror every morning and cringed, even at age 6. I wanted to just get rid of everything I saw as negative on my body. I didn't think I was worth anything anymore.

When he died, I lost track of my life. I stopped going to my gymnastics and dance classes. I stopped singing. I stopped trying in school. I stopped thinking about my future. I didn't want to be a singer anymore, I wanted to be dead. Awful thoughts for a little girl, don't you think?

So, no. I'm not the popular, preppy cheerleader I wanted to be when my dad was alive. No, I'm nota the kind and considerate girl I wanted to be. No, I'm not one of the good people. Not at all. However, does that really make me one of the bad guys? I don't know, maybe.

I definitely relate to the stereotypical bad guys in books and movies. They're only bad because someone made them like that.

Enough about good guys and bad guys and that stereotypical shit.

Layla. What the fuck am i supposed to do about her? She is the one that keeps me sane!! Well... bad word usage... She's the one that keeps me hopeful. Joey is amazing, but i need Layla too. Che may be an overly dramatic bitch, but so am i, who am i to judge her? On second thought, because of her i have even more burn scars (I still feel the burning oatmeal running down my back), so that's definitely not appreciated...

Even if i love her, I'm pissed. Its not just the oatmeal, its the fact that she lied to me. Never lie to your friends. No matter what. Friends are literally all you have in this shit hole of a world, other than your family. Don't take advantage of them by lying.

I never lied to Layla, why would she lie to me? Well, at least and didn't make something up. I personally think that's worse than lying.

I don't know what to do... maybe I'll talk to her tomorrow...

No. I'm going to wait for her to apologize to me. She owes me that. I hope she apologizes to me and explains why she lied. I really don't want to lose her. I can't stand losing another friend. I don't want to lose Layla...

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Odd chapter, don't you think? I really wanted the main part of this chapter to be: Don't lie to your friends. Why? Its an important lesson. Lying to your friends hurts them. It makes them not want to trust you anymore. I hope after reading this you guys will all tell the truth, not just to your friends, to everyone. Confess your lies. Stop pretending. It'll make the world a better place, and you'll be one of the good guys. I hope this got the point across. My apologies for the odd chapter, the next one will be better, I swear. Thanks for reading.
♡♡Christal