Save Me from Myself

Chapter 42

(Quick A/N) Oh my god!!!! Last night I reached 1000 views, and i cannot tell you guys how grateful i am!! You guys are so amazing and I'm so happy there's actually more than one person that reads this. Thank you guys so much for all your comments and compliments and just for supporting me and this story. You guys are the best!! And now, we're going to see something we haven't seen in a while....

Esme's POV
*This chapter is not for younger readers, it contains an inappropriate scene. I'm not going to go into detail, because frankly, I'm not the biggest fan of writing that kind of thing. At all. Continue reading at your own risk*

I felt so stupid walking back into the asylum. I should've chosen jail time. After I passed the Security, i ran into Layla.

"Hey bitch, guess who's back?" I asked playfully. She glared at me and rolled her eyes.

"Go suck a dick, Esme." She answered, pushing past me.

I sighed and yelled "I missed you too, you fucking slut."

She turned around and walked backwards, "So polite. And by the looks of it, you're the only slut here." And the secretly flipped me off so the nurses wouldn't get mad at her. I laughed and walked away.

I have to admit, I had been nervous for days about facing Cali again. I was a bitch to her. But she was a bitch back, so I don't give a shit.

When I saw her and Joey sitting down at the tables, I wanted to cry. She looked so awful. I mean, not to be rude or anything, but she looks pretty bad usually, but today? She looked 1000 times worse.

I really wish I hadn't left the first time. Then none of this would've happened.

(Flashback to 3 weeks after she got out of the asylum)
I was walking home from school with Mason, and we were laughing and having fun like always. But then something happened.

I don't know what came over him, but he grabbed me and shoved me into the wall. He'd been acting so weird since I got back, and now I knew why. He started kissing me intensely and then... I always loved Mason. I'll never deny that. I loved him more than anyone in the world. But he was my best friend too. I didn't want him to hurt me the way he did. Kissing me is one thing. I was definitely okay with that. But the second he shoved me to the floor and took off my clothes, I knew what he was doing was wrong.

I don't even want to think about it. I loved him. But definitely not like that. Then, once he'd gotten what he wanted, he left me. He never spoke to me after that.

A day after he did that, I went to go see Cali. I was so enraged with her. She risked her and Joey's lives just to go and confront that psychotic monster. I didn't want out friendship to end that way. I wanted to tell her that she was right about Mason and what he did to me and I just wanted to cry on her shoulder. But she wasn't there for me. So I left.

(End of flashback)

I remember that day like it was yesterday. I missed Cali more than I was willing to admit to her. I was so depressed, I just wanted to stop feeling anything.

That's when the drugs came into play.

At first it was just a joint here and there, but then it got bad. I was pretty much addicted to cocaine. I was a huge mess. Not only was I addicted to cocaine, I developed a love for alcohol. Yeah. I became an alchoholic. Whoopdeedo.

It wasn't just because of Mason and Cali though. I mean, yeah they were what pushed me over the edge, but it was life in general.

However, I was still extremely pissed at Cali. I guess I could've approached the situation better.. but whatever. What's come is done. I can't change the past. I can only look towards the future.

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Esme's back!! I hope you guys weren't too disgusted with my chapter. I really tried my best to make the flashback as appropriate as humanly possible, but i didn't want to be lame and say "Then Mason raped me." I know. I'm awful. But its important to the story, so i hope you guys will forgive me and my depressing mind. Thanks for reading!!! I hope you don't hate me!!
♡♡Christal