Save Me from Myself

Chapter 74

Joey's POV
(HELL YESSSS. JOEY'S POV.)

"Cali, can I ask you something?" I asked, sitting next to her.

She sighed, "How many times do I have to tell you, you don't have to ask if you can ask a question. Just ask." She answered, smirking a little.

I nodded, "I know. But it's about your mom."

She rolled her eyes,"Why do you want to know about her? She's not worth anyone's time. But go ahead."

I took a deep breath, "Well, why did she turn against you after your dad died? She was fine before that. You said that she was a good mom. What changed her?"

I saw her slouch a little bit and sigh again. She looked uncomfortable, but she answered anyway, "She was in love with my dad, and it was my fault that he died. It didn't matter that she was my mom, she wanted me gone. Forever."

I nodded, "I'm sorry, I know you hate it when I pry like this. But I'm so curious and you never tell me anything unless I ask."

She smiled, "Well yeah, I'm not exactly an open book. Do you really want to know about me?" I nodded. "My first name is Calliope. Call me that and I'll gut you. My middle name is Arianna and my last name is Haile. I love ice cream and fluffy blankets and thunderstorms. My favorite day of the week is Friday, and my favorite animal is a polar bear. Enough information?" She finished, laughing a little.

I smiled, "Polar bears? Why?"

She groaned, "Wow, you really are curious. Well, polar bears look cuddly and adorable, plus they live in cold weather. And when I was younger, my dad and I went to the zoo and the polar bears were his favorite, so they kind of just mean something to me."

I grinned, "That's adorable."

She groaned again, "Yeah yeah. Anymore questions?"

I thought about it and I decided to ask. I knew she would be a little wary about it, but I had to ask. "Do you still want to die?"

She thought about it for a second and then looked at me sadly, "I know what you want me to say, but I'm not a liar. Yes. And there's nothing anyone can say or do that will change that. I'm just too fucked up, and that won't ever change."

"I know. But I'm glad you're not dead. You're like my best friend." I mumbled.

She scoffed, "Excuse you. I AM your best friend."

I wish we were back at that point. On that day in particular. She was more lively and happier. She was different back then, I wish that that memory didn't have to end.

After I had about a million flashbacks, I decided that I was ready to read my letter. I wasn't actually ready to read it, but I needed to. I needed to see exactly what wanted me to know before she died.

I carefully opened the letter, and I read it. It read:

Joey,
   Hi Joey. If you're reading this, then I was successful. Please don't be mad at me. I know you'll deny being mad, but you are. And I'm sorry. But you know why I did it. I know you do. There's nothing you could've said or done that would've stopped me, and I'm sorry. I'm sorry I'm putting you through this. I'm selfish. But Joey, you have to understand, Addy was always my will to live. Always. When I lost her, I had no more will.

I'm sure you're more pissed at me then you'll tell anyone, because that's just who you are. You can be mad at me, I would be. But don't let it consume you. Be mad, be upset, and then get up and live your life. Get out of the asylum. Hook up with that hot security guard. Adopt 2 kids. Go back to school. I don't care, just make your life better than how it is now. You are going to be a great person, better than you already are. I love you so much. Please don't remember who I was for the last year, remember the girl I used to be. I'll miss you so much.

If there is a hell, and if there is a heaven, I look forward to seeing you again in heaven. Addy and I will wait for you, and hopefully I'll be able to haunt you, because I would love to creep you out in the afterlife. If that doesn't happen and this is the last you'll ever hear from me, then just know that I love you and I believe in you. Good luck Joey, make your life worth living for me. And for you.

I'm sorry, and I love you my friend,

Calliope Arianna Haile
(Cali)

P.S. I know you'll do this anyway, but take care of yourself. Don't go back to your old ways, don't change yourself. You're an amazing person already, please don't change. Ever. You're so perfect, I hope someday you see that. Goodbye for now.

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This chapter was written a bit differently, I hope you don't mind. Thank you for reading! I'll update as soon as I can.

❤❤Christal