Ghost from the past (18+)

#Four: March 21th '12

Dear Diary:

Today is my 18th B.Day ...and Bhek's as well, of course.
This morning is different. There's something brewing. I can feel it.
Maybe it's because of my birthday. But for once in a long time, I don't hate the day before it begins. For the first time, in a long time, I'm excited.
Maybe it's because I know he'll be there today.
Normally I dread seeing him, but today I'm allowed to do anything.

I told myself a thousand times. What you don't have and what you don't know can't hurt you. But I was lying, I don't think I can pretend any longer.
My heart is slowly crumbling every time I have to pretend I'm alright with how things are right now.
That I don't have feelings for him, or that I can't allow them to surface, just to keep the balance between everyone and everything.
That it's what's best for everyone. But is that fair if I'm the one who isn't in harmony at all?

Alright, enough whining.
Time to party!

Bheks and I are so damn excited! Mom and dad allowed us to throw a costumed party. Needless to say we've been planning this for months!
"Costumed Casino" is the theme to be exact and everything is just perfect! We carefully prepared things down to the smallest details.

Bheks and I wear matching costumes. We're the sexy versions of the Queen of hearts. They are corset dresses, short in the front and with a trail in the back that nearly touches the ground. Mine is black, red, and gold whereas Rebekah's is white, blue, and silver. We even got little crowns and heels that match. And even if I say so myself ...we look damn hot!

So it's time to get ready and maybe I'll give this an update later, although I wouldn't count on it.
'Cause I hardly update, like.. ever? Did you/I notice that too since you'll / I'll be reading it right now? Okay, this is getting too complicated, I've got a party to attend!

See ya when I see ya!

***

Guess what?! I'm actually updating after our party, never thought I would see the day myself either haha...

First off, the party was A-MA-ZING!! We had the best day ever, including me! And since I can't contain my excitement any longer, I'm going to scrabble on these pages as fast and detailed as I can.

The party was just starting while Bheks and I were admiring everything. Then suddenly Bheks tapped on my shoulder after which pointing in the direction of the door. She told me Matt was coming in and that if I was lucky, I could steal a kiss from him tonight since it was my/our birthday. *The little rat just has to know everything!* But like I am, I denied it completely! Saying I'm not into Matt. *Who am I kidding, she's my twin!* Although I never said it out loud, it's obvious she knows how I feel... *Damn that stupid twin connection.* I'm not sure if she has a clue as to how much I feel for him since I never told a soul.

Anyways!!! Matt came strolling through the door and the second I saw him my heart melted away. He looked so damn handsome! I couldn't wrap my mind around it.
But... At that point, I was also still arguing with Bheks over the whole situation and she whispered.