Ghost from the past (18+)

#Thirty-six: In which he finds the missing puzzle piece.

It's been two months since the day I woke up in the hospital. Eighteen miserable nights and forty-two days of intensive rehabilitation until I finally started to feel like my old self again. In other words fucking eternity! Today I finally got my green slip from the doctor's office, saying I could start to ease back into my old rhythm. He warned me not to underestimate what my body has been through, saying I should take it one step at a time. I promised him I would before we said our final goodbyes.

Once back home, Lexi and I make ourselves comfortable on the couch. She'd been playing my personal nurse for these past couple of weeks. Bringing me to my appointments every day, except today because she had to swing by the studio. Helping me with anything and everything, from cooking to assisting me up the stairs and in the shower. The latter seemed to be her favorite activity lately, taking her sweet time gently rubbing soap on my body before rinsing it off. She'd tested every inch of my self-control, to the point that I'd nearly tackled her against the shower wall. Not giving a damn if it would hurt or rip open one of my wounds. She didn't let it happen though... To my demise, she had a good grip on her self-control and it was starting to annoy the living shit out of me. Not because I didn't enjoy my time with her, I loved having her around. We'd been sleeping together every night, cuddling up against each other as we talked until either one of us drifted asleep. Most of the time in Lexi's bed, because it had the most room. Although every once in a while Lexi would drag me into my room, wanting to snuggle up close in my bed. It certainly seemed to help with the nightmares she was having. Once I pointed out that fact she could only blush as she muttered it was because the entire room smelled like me which was something that put her at ease. I couldn't help but laugh since she had me in person with her almost all of the time. She said she knew it wasn't logical, but it helped nonetheless. Silly girl. After a few weeks the bad dreams seemed to subdue, thank God, and by now they had nearly vanished altogether.

When I wasn't busy with my revalidation we watched movies on the couch or in bed, just enjoying each other's company. It was strange... Like a certain peace had fallen over us, although I felt like something was missing... Like we were stuck in this in-between. We talked, kissed, and said we loved each other but it all seemed superficial in a way. We'd talked about the night of my birthday. I swore to her I would never let something like that happen, ever, again. Regretting everything second of what went down that night. Both of us ended up in tears, and I didn't let go of her the entire night until we eventually drifted off to sleep.

I know Lexi feels the strange air between us too. I think as I briefly glance over to her. She also had been caught up in her own thoughts these past couple of days. There is still one matter we have to resolve and we both know it. I still hadn't figured out how I'd broken her heart all these years ago, and that's where the problem lies... I sigh to myself, trying to figure out how to resolve that issue. I know things won't change until I make that happen. I promised her I would. Neither of us can let it go which hinders us from truly relishing one another. There has to be something I can do... I mutter, irritated with myself.

'Matt!'

'Huh... Yeah!'

I mumble shaken out of my thoughts as I turn to look at Lexi. She sighs, rolling her eyes with a smile as she repeats.

'For the sixth time, what movie do you wanna watch next?'

We'd gone through all our favorite movies these past few weeks. First the Fast and Furious saga before continuing with all our childhood classics. By now we were out of inspiration and started to watch random movies we'd never heard of before just to pass the time. It didn't feel good. This... It doesn't feel good. I shake my head, the limbo we're stuck in is starting to drive me nuts, but I try to ignore that feeling as I mumble.