Ghost from the past (18+)

#Five: In which she discovers something new, while letting go of the old.

'Girl, what the heck happened to you?!'

Bheks shouts as soon as she sees me enter the room. With her words, Tyler also turns around and his stare at me says enough. I must look like crap after all that crying. I really should've checked myself in a mirror before storming downstairs...

'Oh, this? I took a stroll down memory lane...
Turns out it wasn't all that pretty.'

I huff, pointing to my face before dragging my fingers through my hair.

'Lex... I thought, is that, Matt's necklace?!'

She utters as she sees the necklace around my neck and I can feel my cheeks flush red.

'I thought you threw that thing in the ocean or something?'

She whispers, knowing that I haven't worn it since the day after Matty left.

'...Can someone please tell me what this is all about?'

Tyler asks, clearly dumbfounded.

'Yes. Thanks, Ty! Bheks, I'll get to the details later. I've got something more important I want to discuss with the both of you.'

'Later?! You're wearing Matt's necklace again and you bloody look like your someone from the band KISS! I want details, right fucking now!'

She shouts, clearly frustrated. Tyler puts his hand over his mouth, trying not to laugh at Bhek's word choice while at the same time rolling his eyes over her subtlety about it.

'Gee, thanks!
I'll fix it up in a minute! ...And you know you're my sister, right?!
You could've just said: Sweetheart, it looks like you've cried a lot.
That would've worked just fine!'

I mutter a little defensively while rubbing underneath my eyes with the palm of my hand. Not that it'll help or anything.

'I'm sorry alright!
It's just that I'm worried about you.
And I feel bad for knowing that you were crying your heart out upstairs, while I was having a good time showing Tyler my work... I should've checked upon you! You normally don't walk off like that when we have friends over, I should've known something was wrong...'

She mumbles while I grab her hands as I look her straight in the eyes, assuring her she doesn't have to blame herself for any of this.

'Bheks! You didn't know. Neither did I, honestly.'

'But I should have! Especially after yesterday.'

She snaps. Although I get why she thinks like that, she shouldn't. She couldn't have known what I was about to do upstairs...

'Uhm, sorry but I'm feeling a bit excluded here...
And even I feel guilty, although I haven't got a clue what this is all about.'

Tyler murmurs a little unsure, not knowing whether or not this is something he should interfere in. I softly chuckle at the thought of how stupid this all must sound to him.

'I was looking for some of my old diaries upstairs.'

I begin before I start telling them pretty much everything. Partially because every time I wanted to skip some of the details, Bheks keeps asking me more and more questions about it. I told them exactly what had happened the day of our 18th birthday and afterward while I study Bheks as she's putting all of the pieces together... She's going through all of the stages of happiness, anger, and grief as I went through when I first read it.