Ghost from the past (18+)

#Nine: In which she doesn't know what to think.

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A/N:

!!! Important !!!

I have NO rights to ANY of the songs/videos I use in my book!!!
Even though I may mention Lexi is singing/recording these songs as hers,
ALL credits go to the original artists (or/and cover artists) and their producers!!!

I just find these songs fitting with the storyline and it took a lot of time researching for them. I just hope you all appreciate the selection I made and further all the credits go out to them for making it sound amazing! Again, I only own the rights to the book I write itself.

I will also name all the original song titles and artists/cover artists by the end of each chapter.

Enjoy!! xoxo Dominique Moust.

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As I flop down in my bed and hug my pillow close to me, I think back to everything that happened today. This afternoon I left the house still pissed off at Matt. The way he looked at my necklace, while we were in the bathroom together after I told him there wasn't another side to him struck a nerve. It didn't matter, he didn't understand. Just the fact that he thought he was being different while he broke my heart the very next day was enough to set me off. When Ian came to pick me up I really hit a new low, surprising even myself, by jumping into Ian's hands just to prove a point to Matt. It had nothing to do with my love for Ian, the way I clung to him and kissed him. My anger and resentment were fueling my actions. I wanted to make Matt jealous and provoke him, nothing more... It seemed to work, as he left in a hurry his demeanor cold-blooded not even bothered looking my way again. I wanted to hurt him as he hurt me... Ian didn't seem to notice. He probably thought I acted like that because I told him I loved him earlier today.

Even when I was on my date with Ian I couldn't help but think about our little run into each other in the bathroom. When I saw him standing there my feet were nailed to the ground. He's still the most gorgeous man I've ever met. I cuss silently. No matter how badly I want to deny it, Ian doesn't even compare to him... As he turned around my heart was beating so hard I was afraid he'd hear it. I could feel my cheeks were on fire when he mentioned he was naked only a few seconds prior. I did everything in my power not to imagine it because of Ian, though I still crashed and burned. He clearly enjoyed me squirming in front of him stepping closer to me, I could feel his body temperature and my willpower was failing miserably as I let my eyes drift over his skin exploring his body. 

Fuck! I couldn't remember the last time I saw him without a shirt and my eyes just wanted to feast on his body. I simply just couldn't resist... I wanted to see every inch, every curve of his muscles as my eyes followed every line of his delicious tattooed body. And boy, he didn't disappoint... I grunt exasperated diving with my head underneath my pillow remembering the tingling feeling in my stomach as I saw the silver glimmer of his nipple piercing. Lexi, don't! You should be fantasizing about Ian, your boyfriend. Not Matty! I swear to myself feeling my cheeks getting hotter again. When I was doing my hair and makeup ...and Matt finally pulled a shirt over his head, thank god! My mind was still elsewhere, somehow I managed to work up the nerve to ask the question that's been burning in my mind from the second he got back. If he's back home forever... I couldn't resist, I just had to know! His eyes shook startled and the seconds that passed by without him answering felt like hours. Even if I'm with Ian now, my heart died a bit with every second that passed by in silence at the thought of him walking away again. When he said he hoped to stay, I didn't know what to make of it and turned back to the mirror. Matt being Matt, he turned back into the arse he normally is, ruining every normal little moment we have... Even though I never said it out loud, I couldn't bear the thought of him leaving all over again.