Strangers- Lisa Cimorelli (Fanfic)

Part 26

~4 days later~

Logan's POV

Bri is probably right. The more I have been thinking about it, the more I realized that I am probably just reading into this too much. She is on tour and she is super busy. This is her time and I don't want to create any issues with her because I don't fully understand her life yet. 

I think I'm just scared because I'm not used to feeling this way. I'm not used to caring about someone this much.

Before Lisa, there wasn't a girl who I truly and fully loved. Don't get me wrong, I think I have loved girls. But loving someone and being in love with someone are two completely different things.

Loving someone is caring about them and wanting the best for them. But being in love with someone is caring about them so much that you would do anything for them to have the best. You won't just let them want the best, you will make sure that they get it even if that means sacrificing some of your own happiness in order for them to get that.

It's hard for me to open up and be vulnerable. It's hard for me to truly give myself to someone else. But I have with her. I think that's why I was worried. But Bri is right. I'm just reading into it. I love Lisa and I trust her. I can't worry about something that may not even be true.

Just as I thought that, I looked down at my phone and saw a text. 

Lisa- Hey. I know you might be busy right now, but call me when you get a chance. I need to talk to you. It's important.

Lisa's POV

I've been thinking so much about my relationship with Logan in these past few weeks. I think I rushed into a relationship when I wasn't ready. I don't know what to do about it. How am I supposed to handle this? I have never been in a situation like this before.

He's going to hurt me. I can feel it. Even if he doesn't know it, I do. Guys like him don't exist in a world like mine. Right now we are living in this sweet, fairy tale stage that doesn't actually exist. It has been proven with any guy who I have ever liked that this stage comes to an end. And when it does they all left, walking out of my life like I was nothing.

What I hate even more, is that I care about Logan far more than any other guy. I don't think he has any bad intentions. I don't think he will ever intentionally try to hurt me. That's not in his nature. He is the guy who will always do his best to make sure you are happy. But once he realizes what my life is like and who I am, I don't think he will want to stay. No one else has ever wanted to stay when they realize how complicated I am, so why would he?

I won't be able to bear the pain of him leaving me.

Besides, he can do better. I know that he can. I know that whatever girl he ends up with, he will treat her so incredibly. I know that she will be the luckiest girl in the world because he will always put her first... Just like he did with me.

I love him, but right now I can't let myself love him. I don't want to hurt him which is why I have to end things now. I don't want to drag him along in a relationship when I know that I'm not good enough for him.

How am I supposed to tell him that I don't want to be with him? Because that is a lie. I do want to be with him, but I can't... I can't let him be with someone like me.

He deserves so much better. I wish I could be that person, but I can't.

I can't wait until the end of tour, I have to do this now. I have to let him move on and be with someone else. I pulled out my phone and typed in a text.

Lisa- Hey. I know you might be busy right now, but call me when you get a chance. I need to talk to you. It's important.

My thumb hovered over the send button. I looked up at the ceiling with tears welling up in my eyes as I debated whether or not to send it. I could feel my heart telling me that this was a mistake. My heart was screaming that I need to give this time because he is worth it. Then I shook that thought out of my head, trying to take my heart out of this decision. 

I can't be selfish with him. I know he has so much more for him in life, and I know that I can't give that to him. Even though it's the last thing I want to do... I have to let him go. I have to let him be happy.

I just wish it was me that could be the one to make him happy. But at the end of the day, I know that I won't be. I looked back down at my phone and I could feel myself getting more upset. No more hesitating. It might sound weird, but I'm doing this because I love him. I finally pushed the send button.

Now all I can do is wait. 

A/N
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