Strangers- Lisa Cimorelli (Fanfic)

Part 40

Lisa's POV

I got a call from Logan earlier today and he asked if he could come over after work. He should be over here any minute. Normally I would be looking forward to seeing him, but I'm scared that when he gets here it just may turn into another argument. We have been arguing about opening up to each other a lot lately. I know it sounds dumb and that it shouldn't seem hard to open up to the person that you are with, and normally it wouldn't be. But I don't even know what's wrong in my life, I just know that something is. How can I open up when I don't know what's wrong?

At that moment my thoughts were put to an end by a knock at the door. No one was home right now which was probably best. I didn't want to fight with my sisters in the house.

When I opened the door he looked at me with a sad smile. I could tell that something was wrong.

Logan- "Hey." He said softly.

Lisa- "Hey. Do you want to come sit inside?"

Logan- "Uh, yeah sure." As we went and sat on the couch, I spoke up.

Lisa- "Is everything okay?" He hesitated to answer but finally spoke up.

Logan- "Lisa... I don't-" I could tell that he was sad but trying to look strong.

Lisa- "What's wrong?" I cut in, worried by his expression.

Logan- "I think we may have rushed into this."

Lisa- "Rushed into what? What are you talking about?" I said starting to get upset.

Logan- "I don't know if we should be together right now."

Lisa- "What?" I asked as I felt tears welling in my eyes.

Lisa- "I know we have been fighting but we can work through this." I pleaded while my voice started to crack.

Logan- "It's not about the fighting Lise."

Lisa- "Is it about not opening up? I'll try to do that, you just have to give me time." I said as tears now began to fall down my face. When he saw tears beginning to fall he turned his eyes away from me and looked down at the floor. I could see him biting his bottom lip to stop himself from getting upset.

Logan- "I know that you're trying. And I love you for that. I love you for trying. But it's not about opening up." He finally looked back up, locking eyes with me. His eyes were red from trying to hold back the tears.

Lisa- "Then what? Do you not love me anymore?"

Logan- "No. I love you. I do."

Lisa- "What is it then?"

Logan- "I can't explain it Lisa." Tears began streaming faster down my face.

Lisa- "Try Logan! Please." I looked at him as we both got visibly upset.

Lisa- "You're giving up on me. Just like everyone else." I said quietly. He looked at me and grabbed my hand.

Logan- "No. I'm not giving up on you. I'm never giving up on you... I'm trying to help you."

Lisa- "How is this helping me? Please explain that to me." There was another pause before he answered.

Logan- "When we met I was just a guy and you were just a girl. We were strangers in each others life. I didn't know what this was going to be. And trust me when I say that this was far greater to me than I ever imagined it to be... But I've just realized that I'm not good for you."

Lisa- "What makes you think that?" He locked eyes with me, still holding my hand. He spoke softly and slowly as if it hurt to respond.

Logan- "I'm just a guy, who loves a girl, who doesn't love herself." He paused for a few moments and then continued.

Logan- "It would be selfish of me to expect you to love me when you can't even do that for yourself... I thought that over time I could help you, but I think I'm just distracting you. You aren't putting yourself first. You're putting me first. You are showing me more love than you are showing yourself. I can't let you live your life in a state of anxiety." I turned my eyes towards the ground as more tears streamed down my cheeks. When I did he gently grabbed the side of my cheek to turn my eyes back towards him.

Logan- "I'm not doing this because I don't love you. It's because I do. I can't be the reason you don't get over your anxiety. I won't be the reason."

I was so upset that I couldn't speak. He pulled me close into a tight hug and kissed my forehead. I held him, knowing that it could be the last time I did.

Logan- "I love you. I'm not giving up on you. I never would. I'm just giving you space so that you can heal yourself."

Lisa- "We were supposed to be the ones who made it. I thought we were supposed to be the couple that lasted forever." His eyes were red the entire time but a tear had finally fallen down his face.

Lisa- "What if I can't take the pain anymore. I need you through this."

Logan- "I'm always going to be here for you. But right now I have to step back and let you find your own way." He stood up off the couch, slowly letting his hand fall out of mine. He wiped his face with the sleeve of his sweatshirt before I could see. He walked backwards a couple steps and then stopped. His voice was shaky due to him being upset.

Logan- "Don't take this as me giving up. I wouldn't be doing this unless I truly believed you would be better off without me...[pause]... I love you. I know that you are going to make it through this. And I hope that when you do, you have everything in your life that could make you happy... You deserve nothing but the best." He turned around and walked towards the front door. He was just about to turn the knob in order to leave when I stopped him by calling his name.

Lisa- "Logan wait!" He turned around slightly. When he did I wrapped my arms around his neck and hugged him tightly. I whispered in his ear as I grabbed his hand and set the key necklace in his hand.

Lisa- "I can't keep this when I know how much it means to you." I closed his hand over the top of it as I gave it to him. He looked down and shook his head.

Logan- "No. This is yours. You can keep it, or wear it, or throw it out. But it's yours now." He said handing it back to me. I grabbed it and held it in my hand confused.

Lisa- "Sometimes, I think you might need this just as much as I do."

Logan- "I don't think I will. Because I know that whenever I think of you, it will remind me of just what that necklace says. I don't need that freedom anymore... You already gave it to me."

Logan's POV

As I walked out of her front door I forced myself to think about why I'm doing this...

I'm just a guy, who loves a girl, who doesn't love herself.

That's why I let her go.

Lisa's POV

His words echoed in my mind. He said exactly what I couldn't see for myself.

"I'm just a guy, who loves a girl, who doesn't love herself."

A/N
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