Strangers- Lisa Cimorelli (Fanfic)

Part 29

Lisa's POV

It's the last day of tour. I have been so out of sorts. I've been thinking about Logan non stop. We get up on stage and sing songs about heartbreak and we share personal stories but I can't even share the part of my life I have with him because it still hurts to talk about.

But I know I'm doing the right thing. I know that I have to do this, for me and for him. I have to focus on my career and he has to find his own way. I know that he has great things in store for him. He doesn't need me in his life. He is going to do so many great things.

Logan has these incredible qualities. One of them being his passion. He never does anything if he isn't passionate about it. I don't think people are able to see it, but he puts his full heart into every single thing he does. When he tells me about his work I can see his eyes light up. I remember before I left we were sitting on the couch and he was talking about a kid that he was helping in rehab. He told me about one little girl in particular that he had been working with for the past year. When he first started working with her, he said that she wasn't even able to move her legs voluntarily. But that night when we sat on the couch he was so happy because she was finally able to start taking steps again.

His happiness was contagious. I could see how much that moment meant to him. His eyes light up whenever he feels like he can help someone else. Whenever I see him at his happiest it is when he can do something for someone else. It is never about him. Nothing I've ever seen him do is about him. Even when it came to our relationship. Obviously it takes two people in a relationship, but no matter what he always put me first.

He has other qualities that I love too. Like when I talk to him, I feel like I'm the only thing that matters to him. He never looks like he's zoned out or thinking about something else. He always looks completely interested in every word that leaves my mouth. Almost like every word I say is important to him, even if it really doesn't make a difference in his life.

I smiled slightly to myself as I thought about him. But it instantly faded when I came back to the reality of where me and Logan are now. My head was rested against the back of the couch. As I felt tears forming in my eyes I sat up and looked down at the floor. My sisters were walking in and out of the room and I didn't want them to see my upset. So I kept my head faced down at the floor as tears started to fall.

I just keep telling myself  that I'm doing the right thing. I know that I hurt him. I'm hurting too. But I also know that I can't be selfish with him. So I can't be with him. Because at this point in my life I have to be selfish in order to do what I love, what I have worked so hard for.  I can't give him everything he deserves if my attention is devoted to something else.

I heard Christina walking by then stopping a few feet away from me. My head was still down so she wasn't able to see me. I heard her walking towards me, then sit on the couch beside me.

Christina- "Lise..." She said in a quiet voice. I felt myself beginning to cry harder, making me unable to answer her. She put her hand on my back and started rubbing it in circles.

Christina- "What happened? You always tell me things, you can talk to me."

Lisa- "I know I can... It's just hard to talk about right now." I said as my voice shook from crying. She knew it was about Logan. I told her when we broke up but I didn't give her any details. I just told her that we were over.

Christina's POV

Christina- "I just don't understand what happened. You guys were great before we left."

She buried her head in her hands then pushed her hair back out of her face.

Lisa- "I know we were." She said quietly as if she was trying to say it under her breath.

Christina- "It's been a week and you haven't told me anything. Was the distance to hard for him? Why did he end things?"

Lisa- "He didn't end things, I did." I looked over at her surprised by what she just said. I didn't think she would ever break up with him. She is crazy about him, I can see it in her eyes.

Christina- "What- what happened? I thought he was everything you wanted."

Lisa- "He is." She said in a way as if she was disappointed in herself.

Christina- "I don't understand... Then why did you break up with him."

Lisa- "I realized that he showed his love for me in a way that I won't ever be able to give back to him."

Christina- "So you don't think you can give him what you feel like he has given to you?"

Lisa- "Yeah..."

Christina- "Lisa, I see the way he looks at you. I've heard the way he talks about you. You have impacted his life in an unexplainable way and it's like you are choosing to ignore that." I said in a kind of harsh tone.

Lisa- "Why are you talking to me like I wanted this to happen?"

Christina-"Because I don't want to see you run from someone who cares about you... Especially when I know that you love him."

Lisa- "Why do you just assume that I'm running?" She asked getting flustered.

Christina- "Because you broke up a week ago and all you have done it is make an excuse for why you shouldn't be with him even if you want too. I know it sounds harsh but I'm telling you because I know you, and I love you." I looked at her as I paused and then continued.

Christina- "Lise, you run away from happiness. You may not want to acknowledge that, but you are and always have run away from happiness because you are scared of being hurt... If you weren't happy with him, then I understand. But if you were happy with him and you think he is good for you then stop yourself from running. Stop, turn around, and go back to who makes you happy." She spoke in a hurt time as if I was taking his side, even though I wasn't. I'm just trying to help her.

Lisa- "If what you need to hear to leave me alone about this is that he doesn't make me happy, then fine. He doesn't make me happy... I can't talk about this anymore okay?"

Lisa's POV

I completely lied. He makes me happy... Always. There has never been a day since the very first time I met him that he made me anything other than happy.

Christina's POV

I know she's lying. But I think she is lying to try to convince herself that she really doesn't love him. But I know that she does... Otherwise, why else would she never take that key off from around her neck?

A/N
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