Slipping Through My Fingers

It's okay

Amelia-Lily lay at the end of her parents' bed, tracing the patterns on their duvet. "Mum?" Janette sat up, "yes Mils?" Janette replied, putting her weight back onto her hands. "I want another baby brother or sister," Amelia-Lily said, Janette's eyes widened, "another baby? Are you serious? You already have 1 brother and 2 sisters...and Caleb of course!" Amelia-Lily sighed, "what's wrong with another baby? They're cute." Janette let out a sigh and collapsed back onto her mattress. "I'm going to have a baby when I'm older...I want 8," her daughter stated, propping herself up on 1 elbow. Once again Janette's eyes widened, "8?!" Amelia-Lily nodded, "yeah...why not...me and James were talking about it when I was at the hospital where his mum works." Janette rolled over onto her stomach, burying her face in Aljaz's pillow, not wanting to think of her daughter having children....not when she was just 8 years old. Amelia-Lily swung her legs over edge of the bed, skipping off downstairs where she could hear her brother and sisters downstairs. Aljaz stood in the doorway to the bedroom. "Are you okay princess?" Janette rose her head from the pillow, "of course I am baby...why wouldn't I be?" Aljaz sat on the bed next to her, raising an eyebrow. Janette sighed, "Mils wants us to have another baby...and then she went on to tell me how she wants to have 8 children with James." Aljaz hesitated, thinking of a suitable response...."do you want another baby?" Janette chewed her lip, thinking carefully about her answer, "I don't know....I mean we have 5 children....including Caleb....and...well, I dunno....I mean, I don't know if I want to go through it all again....I mean if I accidentally got pregnant then that would be okay I suppose....but...oh I dunno, I just...I dunno," Janette said, continuously chewing her bottom lip...nervousness.. Aljaz stretched out on the bed, kissing his wife's forehead, pulling her chin up to look at him, "don't worry about it....I don't know if I do either....but like you said, if you accidentally became pregnant then that would be be too bad.....now, how about you come downstairs and have some breakfast?" Janette nodded and swung her legs out of bed, following her bučko downstairs. Janette sat on 1 of the stools at the island, nibbling delicately on a slice of toast. "Mum, James is going to the park down the road now....can I go?" Amelia-Lily asked. Janette turned round to face her 8 year old daughter, standing with her arms folding across her chest, covered by a cute pale blue t-shirt and white denim shorts, cyan space blue converse on her feet. "By yourself?! How do you even know he'll be there?" Janette asked, putting the toast down on her plate. Amelia-Lily rolled her eyes, "he called just now....and I'm sure James' big sister Dora will be there...he said he wants to talk to me, something that he can't say on the phone....so please please PLEASE can I go?" Amelia-Lily begged, fluttering her eyelashes. Janette sighed, "fine, but you this phone....it has mine and your Dad's number on it if there's any problems," Janette said, handing her daughter a cheap pay-as-you-go phone. Amelia-Lily nodded and ran out the house, down the road to where the park was. Janette watched her out the window on her way, "what do you suppose James wants to talk to Mils about?" She asked, no longer able to see her eldest from out of the living room window. "Mum you always tell us off for being nosey....and how come Mils can go to the park by herself but me and Sasa can't!" Leonardo said. Janette turned round to face her son, "because, Mils is 8....nearly 9....you and Sasa are turning 7 in 2 weeks, I'm not letting my 2 nearly 7 year olds out by themselves...end of." The twins sighed simultaneously, knowing that there was no chance of winning this debate against their mother.....it just wasn't possible....

Amelia-Lily ran into the house, slamming the door behind her and running up the stairs to her room....slamming her door shut just like she had done with the front one. Janette and Aljaz looked at each other puzzled, not knowing what was wrong with their daughter. They tapped at the bedroom door. "Mils?" Janette called through the door attentively. They could hear sobs coming from the bedroom. "Leave me alone....I'm okay...please.... I just want to be myself right now," a muffled voice said in between sobs. "But you're crying," Aljaz said. "Please....I just want to be myself," she said, still uncontrollably crying into her pillow. Janette sighed, going to turn the handle to open the door to her crying daughter's room, but Aljaz took her hand away, shaking his head. "She'll come to us....when she's ready to talk," he whispered. Janette's eyes brimming with tears at the thought of something upsetting her baby girl....

"Can you go get Mils for lunch please?" Aljaz said to the twins. "But she's crying....she won't want to eat anything," Leonardo said with a sigh. "Can you please go get Mils," Aljaz repeated. The twins sighed and walked up the stairs, they did everything together the twins.... They stood outside their big sister's bedroom, listening to her quiet sobs, they had considerably slowed down since she had arrived home an hour ago...the twins looked at each other before Leonardo turned the door handle, Sasa knocking as the door slowly opened. They slipped into the room, their big sister not noticing them, laying stretched out on their bed, her face buried in her pillow. Sasa pushed the door shut, clicking as it did so. Amelia-Lily stopped in mid-sob, "Mum? Dad?" She said, her voice muffled by the pillow. "No it's not...it's Sasa and Leo," Leonardo said. "Dad told us to come and tell you to come downstairs for lunch," Sasa said. "I'm not hungry...just all of you leave me alone....please just let me be by myself," Amelia-Lily said into her pillow. "Why....what's wrong?" Leonardo asked, taking a step closer to the bed, "we won't tell Mum and Dad if you don't want us to....promise." Amelia-Lily sighed, knowing that her younger siblings weren't going to be pushed off. She twists her body round to face her little brother and sister, her face bed from where he head been crying. "Promise you won't tell Mum and Dad?" The twins nodded simultaneously. Amelia-Lily sighed and wiped her eyes, trying to get rid of the tears. "James said that he didn't want to be with me anymore....he dumped me...he said that he doesn't want a girlfriend anymore," she stuttered, her lip wobbling as if she were about to burst into floods of tears again. Sasa and Leonardo joined their sister up on her bed. Thinking about what to say to console their big sister, the one who was normally comforting them, not the other way round. "Did he say why?" Leonardo asked, not really sure what to say....his older sister rarely told him stuff like that. "Leo! You can't ask that....people never say why they break up with people, they just say that they don't want to be with them anymore," Sasa said, giving her twin the evils. Amelia-Lily sniffed, "I don't know why he dumped me....I thought he really liked me...He said that we'd be together forever, I thought he meant it as well...I thought we would be like Mum and Dad, you know in love, together forever...you know, all that jazz." Sasa put her arm round her sister, "well....for Mum and Dad they went on loads of dates with other people before they met and fell in love....and James was your first boyfriend, you'll meet someone soon....I mean