Slipping Through My Fingers

Believe

"Ali I don't want a baby shower," Janette said, standing with her hands on her hips. "But princess-" Janette put a finger on his lips, "baby, please, a evening with you and the kids is just fine for me...I don't need any fuss," she said. Aljaz tucked a stray piece of her hair round her ear, "you deserve to be spoiled...don't settle for just fine...I want you to be happy," he said. She looped her arms round his neck, "baby I am happy...stop doubting yourself...I just want to be at home with you, Mils, Sasa, Leo, Angel and-" she put one hand on her bump, "this little one. That's all I need...I'm happy with you all, I'm tired anyway. This little one has been keeping me awake for the last 2 weeks, I don't want to go out just to be exhausted for the whole evening and I'll be grumpy, and it won't be fair on everyone else...please?" Janette asked with a sigh, fluttering her eyelashes. Aljaz nodded, "whatever you want...I'd do anything for you princess." Janette wrapped her arms round his back, resting her head on his chest...

**Next evening**
Janette tugged the hairbrush through her glossy dark hair. "You okay princess?" Aljaz said, leaning against the doorframe of their bedroom. Janette turned round in her chair, "yeah...tired...I just want to curl up next to you on the sofa with you and Angel," she said. Aljaz nodded, "of course my love." Janette's phone went off:
HEY J...DO YOU, ALI & THE KIDS WANT TO COME OVER? X KAREN X

Janette showed Aljaz her phone, "do you want to go?" Janette sighed, "I suppose we should...I'd feel bad turning them down," she said. Aljaz nodded, kissing her cheek.

WE'LL BE OVER IN THE NEXT HALF-HOUR X J X

**At the Cliftons**
Janette stood in Karen and Kevin's upstairs bathroom, looking in the mirror, a hand on her bump, rubbing it gently. Janette closed her eyes and started to breathe in and out slowly, trying to relieve the pain she felt. There was a tap at the bathroom door, "Janette? Are you okay in there?" It was Karen. "Yeah I'm fine. I'll be down in a minute...." Janette felt the pain pass. She let out a sigh, looking down at her bump she whispered, "listen to your Mummy baby....you can't come yet...it's too early, too early...just wait a couple of months...please." Carefully wiping away a stray tear she took a deep breath and went back downstairs. Everything would be just fine...

They all sat on the sofa, Charlie and Angel spread out on the floor, watching TV. Janette snuggled up to Aljaz, trying to convince herself that the baby wasn't coming, that everything was just fine. Janette felt another pain, contraction, coming, slightly longer than the last, not painful enough for Janette to scream out.

**1 hour later**
Janette was holding onto the bathroom sink, her head ducked down at the bathroom tiles, trying to block out the pain once more. It hurt more this time...considerably more. Unable to hold it in anymore Janette let out a scream in pain. Aljaz and Karen ran up to the bathroom, banging on the door. "Janette?! Janette what's wrong?!" Janette cried out in pain again, "it's the baby...it's coming...the baby's coming now!" "Can you unlock the door princess? Then we can get you to the hospital...make sure everything is okay," Aljaz said. Janette sighed, still holding onto her bump, as if she were protecting her unborn child, she made her way over to the bathroom door, fiddling with the lock, hurting her hand in the process, tears spurting down her face in pain and frustration. "I can't...it's jammed...I can't get out," she cried. "It's okay princess we'll get you out, just remember the breathing exercises...and the baby may not come yet...you may be in the early stages of labour...just stay calm," Aljaz said, knowing that he was definitely not calm, but he couldn't let Janette know that, it would make her more scared. "Ali I can assure you that I'm not in the early stages of labour...I've done that 5 times, I know what the early stages are like and that's not this," she said in between pains. Karen ran downstairs to call the hospital, telling them about Janette being in labour and stuck in the bathroom.
"Everything will be okay princess...I know it will...you, me and the kids yeah? Just focus on that yeah?"
Janette felt a whoosh of water beneath her, "baby I really don't think it will." "No you can't think like that Janette...everything will be okay, you've got to believe that!"
"Ali my waters have broken...unless someone gets me out of here quick or I'm having a baby by myself in here," she said, sweat pouring down her face. "Karen we've got to get Janette out...her waters have broken." Karen hesitated, trying to think of something suitable to say. "I'm going to go call the hospital again and see where that ambulance is," she said, disappearing back downstairs. "Ali! Please, help! The baby is coming...like really coming now. I can't slow it down anymore!" Janette cried. "We're trying princess...we really are," he replied. "Try harder! The baby's coming!" She cried, letting a scream. Aljaz tried knocking the door down, only causing the lock to rattle but keeping the door firmly shut....

**15 minutes later**
The ambulance still hadn't arrived and they were no closer to getting into the bathroom to Janette. A small cry filled the room, Janette grabbed a towel and wrapped up the tiny, fragile human-being. "A boy...a baby boy Ali," Janette wept, holding her son close. The ambulance pulled up, paramedics running up, kicking in one of the rectangular panels on the door and unlocking it. Aljaz pushed passed them, running to Janette. He put his arms round Janette, kissing the top of her head, "I'm so sorry princess...really really sorry," he said into her hair. Janette looked up at him, "it's okay baby...we'll be okay, remember? Like you told me," she said. One of the paramedics turned to her colleague, "she's lost a lot of blood, call ahead...we need to prepare for theatre." Janette had turned rather pale...incredibly pale. In the ambulance Aljaz held their son, trying to keep him warm. When they arrived at the hospital Janette was put on a hospital bed attached to an IV drip. She reached out for Aljaz's hand, "Ali, if I don't make it...I...I...want you to find someone else...I want you and the kids to be happy...please...don't be alone...our kids need a mother." Aljaz gently squeezed her hand, "they already have a mother, you." Janette shook her head, "baby I might not make it...I couldn't bare the thought of you and the kids being alone...and you mustn't blame yourself, this wasn't your fault...just find someone...yeah? For me?" Aljaz shook his head, "I could never love anyone half as much as I love you...you're the only one for me...and you will survive this...okay? You've got to...for me okay? I can't live without you Janette Skorjanec...I love you." Janette's eyes filled with tears, "I love you more." "I love you most," he said as his wife was wheeled off into theatre.
"Mr Skorjanec? If you follow me you can see you're son," a nurse said, gently touching him on the shoulder. Aljaz wiped away his tears and turned round to follow the nurse. She put the baby in Aljaz's arms and handed him a bottle filled with milk, leaving father and son alone. "Hey little man...I'm your Daddy," Aljaz said as he fed the baby. All he could see was Janette reflected back at him, big brown eyes, tanned skin, dark brown hair. The baby whimpered when he'd finished the bottle, "it's okay...I know you want you're Mummy...I do too...she'll be here soon...and she'll love you, and you'll love her...she's an amazing mother," he said rocking the tiny human being.

"Your wife is out of theatre," the nurse said. "And? Did...did she make it?" Aljaz asked. The nurse nodded. "Can I see her?" The nurse nodded again, "if you put your son in the cot and follow me," she said. Kissing his son's wrinkled forehead he put him in the cot and followed the nurse along the maze like corridors.
Janette lay still, her eyes shut, connected to several tubes. Aljaz sat on one of the plastic chairs beside her, reaching out for her hand, not wanting to ever let her go again....