Slipping Through My Fingers

....their daughter

** this chapter is all from Amelia-Lily's Point of View
Memories/flashbacks will be written like ^this^
let me know what you think
also just to let you know I don't know the correct medical stuff so it may (well it's not) not be very accurate**
I could hear my parents and God-Mother taking to each other, Dad trying to reassure Mum that I would wake up. I wanted to shout and scream, I wanted to tell them that I was here, that I was trying to wake up but I couldn't...I just couldn't...

Suddenly I felt a tight feeling in my chest, as if someone was squeezing hold of me, taking all the life out of me. One of the machines that I was hooked up to let out a shrilling beeping sound, not it's normal regular beep. I heard footsteps rushing into my room, over-polished shoes squeaking on the lino floor, hearing them usher my parents and Auntie Karen out of the room I felt my chest tighten even more. I could hear words flying round the room from doctors and nurses, Dr Smith's voice overriding then all, the pressure of the nurses ice cold hands pushing down on my chest, counting seconds...minutes.
I felt tired, breathless...like I was about to pass out, as if I were about to collapse....give up...

I tried to ignore my collapsing heart, the fact that I might die in about 15 minutes...maybe several minutes longer.... Trying to focus on my family...on my memories....

I feel the frost on my face, snowflakes drifting down from above, it feels as if I'm there, watching a 3 year old me. Running around outside in my Nana and Granddad's garden in Slovenia just a couple of days after Christmas. I'm holding my hands up high above my head, desperately trying to catch the drifting snowflakes and wondering why the disappeared shortly after I took hold of them. Hearing Mum and Dad laugh as they watched me run around like this, Sasa and Leonardo watching from their position on the blanket of snow that was covering our grandparents' back garden....

I could still feel the nurses pushing down on my chest, their hands not as ice cold as they had been previously...the doctor still counting numbers...

This time it's warmer...sunny...not like the sun in Miami but still sunny. My 18 month old legs running through the zoo, closely followed by my partner in crime. Charlie. Quickly glancing at the various different animals before moving on. Uncle Kevin trying to keep up, not wanting to lose his son or me, his God-Daughter. Crowds parting as Uncle Kevin barged through, as politely as possible, trying not to knock people over but also trying not to lose sight of the 18 and 10 month old children who were in his care at that moment in time. That was the day that Mum and Dad told me, and everyone else that if be a big sister...that Mum had 2 babies in her tummy. Leonardo and Sasa....the twins....

I could feel my chest relaxing slightly, not feeling as tight, as though someone was loosening their grip....

Laughter filled the kitchen. Me, Sasa, Leonardo, Angel, Mum and Dad. Cooking. Well. Dad was "supervising", and Mum was sat with Angel on her lap while my little sister had hold of a wooden spoon and was licking the cake mix off. I remember Mum was sprinkling us all with flour and Dad was calling us all his little flour children, he would've called us 'fairies' but Leonardo would've protested greatly.....
Mum and Dad looked at each other into each other's eyes, you could tell that they loved each other. As Dad kissed Mum, Leonardo instantly protested, saying that it was disgusting, Sasa shaking her head at me as if she was trying to question her twin.
Thinking of that memory, as if I were re-living it made me realise...I couldn't. I couldn't leave. I couldn't leave me family. Not the crazy days we had together, running round in the snow, 'cooking', being chased by Charlie at the zoo; I didn't want to give that up...not yet...

My chest loosened. As if the person who had hold of me had let me go. I took a deep breath and let out a sigh. Making the nurses and doctors fall silent. My eyes flickered open briefly, being blinded by the bright hospital lights. I tried again. This time revealing my big brown eyes...I was alive..and it felt good....