Slipping Through My Fingers

Next to you

Janette's eyes fluttered open, like a butterfly's wings. They drifted to her right where she saw a bunch of red roses. She scanned round the room looking for Aljaz but not finding him. Her eyes began to fill with tears, she'd assumed that he would be there waiting at her bedside for her to wake up. Maybe he had found someone else already? She just didn't think he would find someone that quickly. Just then the door to her hospital room opened....it was Aljaz...he'd stepped outside to call Karen and Kevin, asking them to look after the kids for a bit. He was filled with relief that Janette was awake but then saw the tears running down her face. "Oh princess what's wrong? Why are you crying? Don't cry, it's okay...please don't cry," he said all at once, rushing to her side, taking hold of her hand. "I thought you'd gone...I thought you already found someone else to be with before you knew whether I was alive or not...I thought I was all alone," she wept. Aljaz cupped her face in his hands, "princess I'm never going to leave you...ever...I promise...I couldn't stand being with anyone else but you...I was so scared...thinking that I'd lost you forever," he said, brushing away her tears. Janette smiled weakly at him, "I love you baby." Aljaz kissed her forehead, "and I love you bučka."
"How's the baby? Is he okay? I did everything right didn't I? He's alive isn't he? Please tell me he is..." Janette said quickly, tears forming again. Aljaz brushed away the ones that had began to fall. "He's fine...he's doing just fine...you were amazing...he's perfect, just like his Mummy," Aljaz said. "Well if he's perfect that means he's like his Daddy." Aljaz rolled his eyes, "would you like me to go get him for you?" Janette nodded.
Aljaz passed the baby to Janette, she was still quite weak from the operation so Aljaz rested him on her breast. Janette begins to cry again. "Oh princess what's wrong?" Janette shook her head, "oh nothing...it's just me being hopeless again." Aljaz tucked a stray piece of hair round her ear, "you're not hopeless...you managed to give birth to a perfect little boy all by yourself..." Janette shook her head, "I'm just so tired baby...and my stomach hurts...and I can't hold my baby boy properly because I'm too weak," she said. "You'll be fine though, you'll recover...I'm going to look after you, be your Doctor," Aljaz said. Janette smiled, "I don't want to tie you down." Aljaz rolled his eyes, "remember our wedding vow? In sickness and in health...I love you, I want to be tied down to you...you'll never have any idea how scared I was when I was waiting to see if I'd ever see you again, hear you laugh, see you smile, kiss you or hug you...I was terrified...so if you think that now I'm going to give you up you're wrong...I'll always fight for you...always." Janette smiled at him, this time it was brighter, radiating out of her, "you're the main reason I survived...knowing I couldn't give up and leave you and the kids...I was so scared...I know I told you that if I didn't make it to find someone else but I couldn't bare the thought of you with someone else." Aljaz stroked her hair, "well guess what." "What?" "You'll never have to think of me with someone else because I'm going to be with you forever," he said. "But-" Aljaz put a finger to her lips, "no buts...you're here with me now and that's all that matters." The baby began to whimper slightly, "oh baby you take him I can't support him properly." Aljaz lifted him up, "by the way do we have a name for this little one? I mean we can't keep calling him 'baby' 'him' 'little one' and 'little man'," Aljaz said as he rocked the baby. Janette hesitated as she thought about it, "I can't think...you choose," Janette said. "Aw come on, you choose." Janette shook her head, "baby please I can't think...my head's all over the place...and I've chosen all of our children's names...this is our last child...you should choose," Janette said, reaching out for the baby's little hand, stroking the back of it. "I've only got one name but you'll laugh," he said. Janette rolled her eyes, "aww come on baby tell me...I won't laugh...promise," she said, fluttering her eyelashes. Aljaz sighed, looking down at the baby boy, "I was thinking George? But we don't have to use it it you don't like it," Aljaz said. Janette hesitated, "George...I like it...English, Spanish...if we spell it with a 'J' then it's Slovenian as well...linked to both of us," Janette said. Aljaz smiled, "as long as you're sure bučka." Janette rolled her eyes, "of course I am baby...stop doubting yourself..,you're the best," she said. Aljaz smiled at her, tucking a piece of hair behind her ear, "only because you made me the best."

Jorge was taken back to the nursery. Aljaz sat on one of the orange plastic chairs, stroking the back of Janette's hand. "Princess you need to sleep...you're exhausted," Aljaz said. Janette shook her head, "I can't sleep, not without being snuggled up to you," she said, her eyes watering. Aljaz got up off his chair and cautiously climbed onto the hospital bed, being careful not to jolt her, he pulled her petite body close, her head resting on his chest. "Comfy my love?" He asked. Janette nodded, "always next to you."