Slipping Through My Fingers

Always

Janette left the ensuite, joining Aljaz who was sat on their bed. "What happens...what happens if I am pregnant?" Janette asked. Aljaz linked his hand with Janette's, "what happens is that we have another baby...an amazing child, just like you," he replied. Janette sighed, "I'm already an old mum to Angel though, so if I'm pregnant again then I'll be even older compared to the other mums." Aljaz kissed her cheek, "Janette, princess, you're perfect...promise...no matter your age, I don't care...now, is it time to check?" Janette nodded, "I suppose so...but first...do you really mean that? About my age?" Aljaz sighed and cupped her face in his hands, "of course I do...you're perfect...my perfect girl." Janette smiled, taking Aljaz's hand the couple walked into the ensuite. Janette look at Aljaz, her eyes widened as she looked at the 3 pregnancy tests lined up in the sink...

NEGATIVE
NEGATIVE
POSITIVE

Janette's heart sunk, "negative." "What do you mean?" Aljaz asked, knowing that being 'negative' Janette would blame herself for losing another child. Janette sighed, "I mean that there's no baby...that is what negative means Ali." Aljaz joined her at the sink where she was still staring at them tests. "One of them is positive though, that's got to count for something, right? It must...I'm sure of it," Aljaz insisted. Janette shook her head and let go of his hand, "baby just admit it, there's no baby, let's just forget about it and move on...there was never a baby," she said as she left the ensuite and made her way downstairs. Aljaz sighed, he picked up the box that the tests had originally come in, scanning the box for the information. She had to be pregnant, Janette had never been wrong about this before. There!
positive 97% reliable
Aljaz ran downstairs to where Janette was making breakfast for the kids. "Janette I need to talk to you a minute," he said. "Baby I'm busy at the moment, can it wait?" Janette said as she tried to convince Angel to eat the porridge that her mother was trying to get into her. "No I really need to talk to you." "Mum, go talk to Dad...I can feed Angel if you want," Amelia-Lily said. "Okay, I'll be 10 minutes top." Aljaz took Janette into the living room and sat her down on the sofa. "Baby what's wrong?" Janette asked. Aljaz took out the box and handed it to Janette. "Read it, see...there's a chance that you might be pregnant...not just a chance, a high probability, one of the tests showed positive...why don't you take another test? What's the harm?" Aljaz said. Janette sighed, "Ali, baby, there's still a 3% chance that positives aren't always reliable...I don't want to go through what feels like losing another child, because that's what taking another test and finding out that I'm not pregnant will feel like...I'm sorry baby but I'm not prepared to go through that," Janette said, her eyes filling up with tears. "But-" Janette shook her head, "I'm sorry baby...I can't go through what feels like losing another one of my babies," she said, getting up from the sofa and going back out into the kitchen to where the children were. The 4 children turned their heads as Janette entered he kitchen, jumping as they heard the front door slam as Aljaz left the house. Janette leaned against the island, tilting her head back, closing her eyes. "Mummy are you okay?" Sasa asked. Janette nodded. "Are you and Daddy getting a divorce?" Leonardo asked. Janette shook her head. Amelia-Lily sighed, "come on you  lot let's leave Mum by herself alone for a moment," she said, lifting Angel out of her chair, taking the twins in tow. Janette sat down on the kitchen floor, head buried in her hands. "What went wrong Mum? Why did Dad leave? Did you have a fight? It's not like last time is it? Because, he really loves you, and you really love him," Amelia-Lily said, standing before her mother. Janette rose her head to look her eldest daughter in the eye, "honestly, I love him more than anything in the whole wide world...but I don't know what I can do...I just don't know anymore." "You'll fix it, you always do...he'll come back, I know he will, because he loves us...all of us, more than anything that ever existed," Amelia-Lily said, as if she were the mother and Janette her child. Janette held out her arms and pulled her daughter close, "oh Mils...oh my darling Mils."

**3 1/2 hours later**
The front door opened and Aljaz entered the house once again. "Daddy!" The twins and Angel cried, their faces lighting up, running to hug their father...he was a good dad to them...to all of his kids. Amelia-Lily just smiled at him, knowing more than what her younger siblings knew. "Hi Janette." "Hi Aljaz," she replied in a small voice. She got up off the sofa and walked over to him, wrapping her arms round him and resting her head on his chest, "I'm sorry baby...I'll do another you-know-what if it makes you happy...I'll do anything to make you happy...I love you," she said, burying her face in his chest. "I'm sorry too princess...I wasn't thinking, I was only thinking about myself..." Janette shook her head, "I think I've got another you-know-what upstairs somewhere...stay down here, and I'll be back in a minute...okay?" She said. "As long as you're sure," he replied. "It makes you happy, that's all I want," Janette said, kissing him on the nose and running upstairs. "Are you and Mum friends again now Dad?" Sasa asked. Aljaz sat on the sofa next to her, "we always were friends princess...always."

Janette pulled out her phone:

Janette 💃🏻💕: KAREN....

Karen💃🏻❣:JANETTE? ARE YOU OK? XX

Janette 💃🏻💕: I DON'T KNOW....I...

Karen💃🏻❣: DO YOU WANT ME TO CALL YOU? XX

Janette 💃🏻💕: NO...IT'S OKAY...I...I'M HAVING ANOTHER BABY

Karen 💃🏻❣: AWW! CONGRATS! 🎉🎉THAT'S GOOD ISN'T IT? WHAT DOES ALJAZ THINK? X

Janette 💃🏻 💕: I HAVEN'T TOLD HIM YET...HE'S DOWNSTAIRS WITH THE KIDS...WE THOUGHT EARLIER THAT I WAS PREGNANT & WE TOOK A TEST & 2 WERE NEGATIVE BUT THE OTHER WAS POSITIVE...I'VE TAKEN 1 NOW & IT SAYS POSITIVE....I KNOW I'M HAPPY & EVERYTHING BUT...

Karen💃🏻❣: BUT WHAT J? XX

Janette 💃🏻 💕: I'M NOT EXACTLY YOUNG AM I? & TO HAVE A NEWBORN BABY...I'M OLD ENOUGH FOR ANGEL...BUT ALJAZ SEEMS TO REALLY WANTS ANOTHER, I DON'T WANT TO UPSET HIM...YOU SHOULD'VE SEEN HIM WHEN I DIDN'T THINK I WAS PREGNANT...

Karen💃🏻❣: YOU'RE NOT OLD J...YOU & ALJAZ ARE AMAZING PARENTS, DO YOU WANT ME TO COME OVER?

Janette 💃🏻💕: NO...I NEED TO TALK ALJAZ...I'LL TALK TO YOU LATER XX

Karen💃🏻❣: YOU 2 WILL BE FINE...YOU ALWAYS DO...COME OUT STRONGER THAN EVER XX

Janette sighed, placing a hand on her stomach, tears leaking out of her eyes, "hey there little one...I'm your Mummy...I do want you, I really really do...I just don't know how to cope...I do love you though...Mummy loves you lots and lots," Janette said. "Mummy?" a voice said, Janette spun round to the bedroom door where Aljaz was standing. "You're...you're...pregnant? We're having another baby?" Aljaz said. Janette froze, "I-I-yeah-I'm-pregnant-" she stuttered, tears still running down her face. "Do you want another baby?" Aljaz asked as he walked towards Janette. "I-I-I....it's complicated...I do but I don't know...I don't know how we'll manage," she stuttered. "We'll manage, we always do...last year we lost a baby, and it broke you...it broke us...but now...what's changed?" Janette sighed, "I don't know baby...I am happy...I just got in my head that I wasn't expecting again, it just took me by surprise..." Aljaz pulled her close and kissed the top of her head, "we'll be okay...you, me and the kids...we always are...always."