BACK TO THE HELL HOLE (book.2)

POSITIVE CHAPTER!! But then turned into negative again.

Well as you can see, this chapter is actually POSITIVE! Unlike all of The other ones 😅😅😅. Anyways, the reason why it's positive is because, I FINALLY got a burden off my shoulder. Which I cannot really write about, but let's just say I got away with something for once. Also I was starting to wonder how I became the person I am today. I picked out some of the most important people of my life, well basically just two, but meh. I don't tell them anything, one of them trusts me a lot I assume, which is surprising. But I never really realized how much they've helped me in the past two years. I'm surprised they put up with all of my ranting about drama shit! They are like, that person that is always positive. And they'll probably never see this, but the fact that they've helped me through thick in thin, finally sunk into me. Though it's kinda sad, since I know that I never exactly returned the favour. Thou at least I think I didn't😅. I really don't know how, but they manage to make me smile even when I feel shitty every single day. Not just fake smiles, I mean genuine smiles. I am legit so thankful, because without either of these people, I think I'd be dead by now. They both have kept secrets for me, and are well, just amazing people to be around. One of the people who has helped me in the past year, is currently suffering because of some personal issues, and her friend is being bullied. I really want to help her by welcoming her friend, into a small friend group. Well of course I can't really do that until summer, since I don't see her friend like every week. But I'll do what I can. But I really, do not know how to pay back the other person. They've done a lot for me. When I say 'a lot' I mean a lot. They are obviously fine, they have no worries in their family, also rarely any school drama. I'm stuck on how to repay this person. Maybe I should start hanging out with them more, they seem lonely at times, and it's pretty sad. Even thou I ship them with someone really really hard. I ain't giving up on that shit thou! There's no fucking way for me to NOT ship them. ITS FUCKING IMPOSSIBLE! Well anyways, I just wanted to take a moment to thank them. Even though only one of them will be able to see this. Repaying that other person will be hard...maybe being their partner in projects would compensate for part of it!

There has been a lot of shit going on. I'm lost in confusion, well, at least that's what they all think. I know what's going on. Pouring out everything on here wouldn't be very wise. I'll just say. fucked up drama revolving around school. I'm guessing that you know what it means. There's some shit going around at school.

Because of that shit, I decided not to partner up with any of the 'squad' members for science, and ended up with cam. Though it just caused even more shit! Just yesterday, when we were picking our topics, Cam's name got called, and Mr.Saranchuk asked who he was partners with. He said my name, then SOMEONE WHO I WILL FIND OUT AND KILL ONE DAY, started Ooing, and soon after, the whole class started. Mr.Saranchuk, surprisingly, defended us, saying to stop, though no one listened to him. And I could see the shock in his eyes, when he saw that Cam and I were partners. The class practically Oo-ed for an entire minute, as they oo-ed, many of them started turning towards him and I. I then started to get flashbacks of last year, and hid my face underneath the desk. I was blushing, like a lot I'm pretty sure. But I have no idea what cam's reaction was since I didn't even look. 😅I felt a pat on my back, after the Oohing was over, and I was just glad that they finally stopped. Thou in socials, I kinda cried to myself, thinking about how much teasing was done last year. And right now, I'm honestly scared for my life, because I don't want the last of the school year, to be ruined because of being shipped with cam. I also feel VERY VERY guilty, because I don't want cam to suffer too! So I'm still debating whether I should just stop hanging out with him, but idk. I just don't want things to be like last year. If they do end up like that, I think I'll have to tell the teacher this time about something this big. I still feel bad for Talliver since he was being shipped with me last year, and it was just, horrible. I just end up dragging everyone into my shit, but this time, when I dragged CAM into this, THIS IS JUST FUCKED UP. He doesn't fucking deserve this. I just wish everyone would just back the fuck off. Also everyone should know their BOUNDARY. I just cannot stand myself for dragging an innocent bystander into shit like this. I can't live with myself. I just can't.

Well that's it I guess. See you again, if I survive until next week.