Colleen Pov
Erin is finally awake. Josh is like a new man and his family has been rejuvenated. They have just taken the tubes out of her that were helping her breathe. She is talking to Josh and her mom quietly as they all cry. All I can hear is Josh asking her why she would do this? "Everyone in this room loves you! Please Erin you broke everybody's heart. Don't ever do this again" Josh says holding her in his arms. She hugs back however something seems to be missing. She doesn't seem to be acknowledging or registering the fact of everybody's sorrow around her. He looks down at her and I know he can feel it and see it too. He gets up to let Jeremy talk with her as tears run down his face as he quickly walks out into the hall. I walk up behind him. "Baby just keep loving her. This won't get fixed overnight" I say rubbing his back. He spins to face towards me. "Why doesn't she see what we see Colleen? Why doesn't she know that everyone loves her? This disease is not only terrible on the actual person but all the family members around them that love them" he says getting emotional. I nod. "I wish I could explain it" I say. He grabs me into a hug carressing my back. I feel his breath in my hair. "What did you need to tell me babe?" He asks. I look at him right into his eyes and gulp. "Baby, I have to go back on set but you stay here and come back when you are ready" I say quietly. He looks at me in disbelief. "What do you mean you have to go back now? I need you here Colleen. This is a family emergency" he says straightening out holding me back from him. "Joshua, I would love to stay here and be with you. You know that's what I would do if I had the choice. However, all of the actors are waiting for me. They can't film without me babe" I say sadly. He nods his head and tightens his lips and turns around to go back into the room without saying another word to me. He is devastated. I am stuck between two choices, work or family. The obvious choice would be family but when I am starring in a TV show and 40 to 50 people are relying on me to be there, I need to go back, especially now since Erin will make it. It's the professional thing to do. I walked back into the room and Joshua never turns around to even look at me. He is pissed off. He is not making this easy on me.
I hop on the plane the next day. I feel so alone. He barely said goodbye to me and he didn't even give me a kiss. As I stare out the plane window I quietly cry. Did I make the right choice in coming back to work?
