Colleen POV
Its been a rough few days after the first treatment. I have basically lived on the bathroom floor. Josh never left my side as we dragged an air mattress into it so we could get some rest. I roll over and see my man sleeping. He looks so tired and emotionally exhausted. He has been so upset seeing me so sick but trying to put on a brave face. I rub his cheek to wake him and smile. "Doing ok?" He whispers holding me. I nod. "Treatment #2" I say sitting up stretching. He rubs my back softly. I slowly stand up holding onto the bathroom cabinet. Josh is right behind me as I shuffle to get some leggings and a t-shirt on. "Babe can you wait here on the bed? Just going to take a quick shower" he asks. I nod and grab my hair brush to start brushing my hair. I start to brush and huge clumps fall out. Something I was warned about. I hold my hair in my hands and cry. I know what I need to do as this will only get worse. I see Josh reenter our room and looks at me crying. I hold out the clump of my hair to show him what the tears are for. "Can we go to the hairdresser before my next treatment at 1?" I ask. "Sure" he says softly. "I hope you will still love me" I whisper thinking about how I will look worse and worse as the treatments go on. He hugs me and holds me tight crying. "Always Colleen" he says quietly. I believe him, I honesty believe him.
I grab a baseball hat of Josh's and place it on my head after the hairdresser cuts all my hair off and we are off for treatment #2.
Time goes on and I am down about 23 pounds so they are making me take some nutritional supplements to put on some weight. I see Josh pouring me a strawberry shake. I can't believe today was my last treatment. They also scanned my belly to see if the treatments are decreasing the size of the tumor. The doctor is going to call us. Today I asked my family to come over for dinner and for some company for us. Josh and I have wanted to be alone pretty much the last month. I walk down the hall to grab a sweater and pass Lily's room. I stand in the doorway and see all of the boxes sitting in the corner. I open a box and grab a sleeper out of it and smell it. I start to cry. I hear Josh come up behind me. "I miss her" I say. "Me too babe" he says kissing my bare shoulder. I grab his hand after taking a deep breath while still holding onto the sleeper with my other hand. I have everything I need and want in both of my hands. I can do this.
