Colleen POV
"Ok Colleen we are going to try a new therapy to help shrink the tumor first. We want any chance of preserving your cervix so you can have more kids" the doctor says. I nod semi listening. " You will have 6 treatments over the next three weeks and then surgery to remove the remaining tumor" she says. I look at Josh as he watches the doctor and think to myself how much he loves me and I love him. He stares down at me as I lay in the hospital bed as nurses connect me with an IV to start my chemo treatment. "Just going to give you a shot for nausea before we begin" she says. I nod crying now. "Baby don't worry. I will be here" Josh says sweetly. I nod not saying a word. He sits down in a chair beside me as he watches the doctor turn on the machine that pumps in my medication. It terrifies me. I see my parents walk in as they start and I can tell my Mom is holding back tears. Josh stands up and hugs her and my Dad before they sit and make small talk with me. The treatment takes 90 minutes but it feels like 24 hours. I just want to go home. I see the doctor come up to me and detach my line after the 90 minutes. She hands Josh a prescription and quietly talks to him about side effects. My mom is watching the nurse bandage my line closed until I come back three days from now for another treatment. "Your skin doesn't like this needle Colleen" she says getting the doctors attention. Josh walks over and we look at my arm and it is super swollen and red. "Allergic reaction. Lets wait to see how it looks in three days and go from there" the doctor says. "Josh grab her some Benadryl as well" she says as she rubs my shoulder and then shakes Josh's hand. I stand up and Josh rushes to my side. I feel fine, just overwhelmed. I shuffle out of the hospital and get into the car to go home. My parents are following us in their car. Josh is holding my hand the entire way. He comes to my door of the car and scoops me up before I can object. "I want to" he says smiling knowing my thoughts. "Thank you baby" I say holding onto him as he carries me inside. He lays me down into our bed as my Mom comes and sits with us while my Dad gets my meds filled at the pharmacy. "Want a drink baby?" He asks. "Water please" I say as my Mom rubs my cheek. I hear Josh running down the hall and then a few moments running back to me. "Slow down babe. I am good" I smile. He smiles back and passes it to me. "I am going to get a tea" my Mom says quickly leaving the room. Josh lays down beside me snuggling me. "Love you so much baby" he whispers. With every sweet word his heart is breaking more and more. I have to get through this to continue our future.
