Colleen POV
I am half out of it as I recover from my csection. I see my Mom holding Lily as Josh smiles at me lightly rubbing my face. "Need something baby?" He asks. "No" I say closing my eyes as I try to shift in bed. I feel a jabbing pain and yelp. "Babe?" Josh says worried. "Its ok babe. Just my stitches" I say as he sits back down. The nurse walks in and lifts my covers to check my stitches and although I can't see them, I know they must be bad because of Joshs face as he sees me. "Josh turn away" I say annoyed. I am embarrassed he is seeing me like this. I start crying. "I just feel bad for you baby" he says grabbing me. I pull my hand out of his. "Colleen, I care about you" he says getting upset as the nurse starts to talk to me. She rolls me over on my left side away from Josh and listens to my breathing as well. "Right side looks infected a bit. Going to get some antibiotics prescribed" she says exiting the room. I curl up in my pillow sobbing quietly. I am tired, feel gross and ugly and well just plain sad. I see Josh walk in front of me. "Colleen I don't want to see you in pain is all" he says. I nod unable to talk. He doesn't know what to do with himself so he sits in front of me. I see tears in his eyes. I just can't change my thoughts. I hear my mom behind me start to freak out and Josh jump up to see the problem. I see Rachel run out of the room screaming for a nurse. Two nurses and a doctor come running in. "What is going on?" I scream crying. I see them working on Lily as my Mom rushes to me. "She went blue Colleen" she mutters. I start sobbing as I watch them until someone rolls in a crash cart. I sit up in bed and stand which I am not supposed to. "Colleen sit down" Josh says. "No!" I scream trying to get to Lily as they work on her. "Her heart has stopped" I hear a nurse say. "Whaaaat?" I scream. "Nooooooo!!!!" I add sinking to the floor with Josh. He is uncontrollably crying as is my Mom and Rachel. They work on her for twenty minutes. I feel like I am in a movie. I am clinging onto Josh sobbing. I feel arms around me and Teeny is now in the room. "Teeny oh my god.... My baby" I say to her. She grabs my face. "Colleen stay strong!" She says staring in my eyes. She grabs Josh and I and we completely break down. I am dying as well.
