Don't Be Jealous [cake au] ✔

Chapter 5

Chapter 5

Luke 💕

I ran straight to the park, my breathing getting worse and worse as my thoughts took over. Calum was such a fucking prick – he wanted me to be jealous, he wanted me to get mad. He was probably only dating Jack for that, to hurt me, and that would end up with Jack being hurt and then I'd get sad again, and bring out the knife, and...

Bending over the massive pond, I took a few deep breaths as my therapist had told me to do whenever these things happened, staring at my reflection flicker and waver as the water moved. Tears formed, streaming down without hesitation, and before I knew it they'd become waterfalls.

I fell back and sat on the damp grass, my head hidden in my knees, salty water running into my mouth. I was a mess, both inside and out, and I'd tried so hard to cure myself, get rid of these thoughts and feelings but it never worked. I'd be thrown back to square one and be forced to start again. It was a viciously endless cycle.

When I was sure I wouldn't cry anymore, I got up and started walking home. It was dark already, it being autumn and all, and I had to squint to make sure I didn't bump into anything or anyone.

And yet, despite my attempts to squint, I still managed it.

I apologised meekly, beginning to hurry on, but I noticed that it was Calum. His eyes were all twinkly in the street light, and I felt like melting into his arms.

"Luke?"

"I said sorry."

"No, wait, stop running away from me every time I try to talk to you!"

I winced at his sudden uproar, averting my gaze. "How can I not? Who knows if you'll punch me, or slap me, or humiliate me like you usually do?"

Impatiently, I waited for his response. "I'm... sorry. I didn't know that's how I made you felt."

"Really...?"

He didn't reply again, so I walked over to him, a bit closer, and looked directly at his face. He didn't look that intimidating in the dark, and for once I wasn't fearing my life. I wanted to kiss him. I wanted to tell him how I felt really bad, but I knew I couldn't. Besides, I was too afraid and too cowardly to do it.

I began to get closer, and closer, till our faces were literally one inch apart. He hadn't pushed me away yet, suggesting that he wouldn't kill me if I kissed him – but then Jack's face suddenly flashed through my mind and I flipped around on my heel and walked the other way, biting my lip ring nervously.

I couldn't betray my own brother. That would be the worst.

~

The next morning, Calum acted like nothing had happened. He came round in the morning (a routine thing these days), kissing Jack non-stop, and hardly acknowledged my presence at all, until we got to school.

Jack left to go to his own form, whilst I was left to walk down the same corridor as Calum to the same classroom.

No one was speaking, so I spoke up. "I'm sorry for what I did last night. I momentarily forgot you were dating my brother."

All of a sudden, I was pinned up against the wall, causing a few people to turn – but to them, this was a normal occurrence. "So you mean... if I wasn't dating your brother, you'd kiss me?"

"That's not what I said-"

I was flustered beyond words. I couldn't break them up like this, I couldn't let Jack suffer – but all thoughts turned to dust when it was his lips that pressed against mine.

***

Calum's such a hoe lol, playing with both brothers ;)))

vote+comment for virtual 5sos apples

Kimmy xx