Homecoming Pt. 1

Nico 104

Iman laid across my bad wearing nothing but a pair of boxers, after everything that happened last night he came back and we talked most of the night and even though I was happy he was here I still wanted it to be Devin that came to check on me. Devin Cunningham...... why couldn't I get over him, and I've tried I really did but don't just get over your first love easily and every time I see him around campus I fall in love with him all over again. I looked over at Iman secretly wishing it was Devin, the boy who I gave my everything to, the boy who broke my heart and kept the pieces. Fucking Devin.... I thought as I got up and and started getting dressed, why can't I let him move on and be happy? Once I was dressed I noticed Iman looking at me, I couldn't ignore the fact that his eyes were full of love for me but I couldn't love him the way he wanted because Devin would always have my heart.

"Where are you going? Come back to bed." Iman said stretching out,  his dick standing proudly out of the front of his boxers.

"I was going to get something to eat..... I didn't think you'd be up for a while."I said looking him in his hazel eyes.

"Nico what's going on with you? Every time we get together you act distant like you'd rather be somewhere else..... is it Devin?" He asked getting upset.

"Iman you know how I feel about Devin and...."

"That's the thing Nico I don't get it, he doesn't want you so why do you keep trying? I fuckin love you and I want to be with you but you won't give me a chance." Iman said standing up, he walked over to me and put my hands over his heart. "Do you feel that Nico, every beat of my heart is for you. Every breath I take is for you but you continue to play me for some nigga who don't want you." Iman said.

"Iman you wouldn't understand.... me and Devin have been through so much, he was my best friend before anything and there's nothing I don't know about him. I love him and I know it's hard for you to understand but I do." I said looking at Iman.

"And I love you, how could you expect me not to. All those times he went back to his chick, who did you come to? It was me.... I'm the nigga that was there when he was playing both sides of the fence. I was the shoulder you leaned on when you needed to vent. I just want you to give me a chance to be the man you need Nico." Iman said rubbing my face, I pulled back and looked in his eyes.

"What do you want me to say Iman?" I said looking away.

"I want you to look at me and tell me you love me, I want you to be able to stop thinking about that bitch ass dude whenever we're together, I want you to be mine." Iman said kissing me."Tell me that you love me Nico." I started to respond when there was a quiet knock on the door, Iman started getting dressed while I opened the door to find Devin standing there. He looked like he seen better days his eyes were red and puffy, I knew he'd been either crying or drinking or both, but damn he looked good wearing an all black jacket with the sleeves rolled up showing off all the tattoos on his muscular arms. He looked me in the eyes trying to find the right words to say.

"Are.... are you busy?" He asked his voice cracking, before I could respond Iman pushed his way next to me and wrapped his arm around my waist. Devin didn't say anything as he stared at Iman with nothing but absolute loathing in his eyes. "You mind if I talk to Nico real quick?" Devin asked restraining his anger.

"Whatever you need to say to Nico you can say it in front of me." Iman said not backing down. Devin was close to losing it and I knew I had to defuse the situation before things got bad for Iman.

"Iman can you please give us a minute." I asked never taking my eyes off of Devin.

"Nico I'm not going to leave you alone with this bitch ass nig....." Iman started to say but Devin grabbed him and pushed him hard against the wall. I got between them and tried to pull Devin's hands off of Iman's collar.

"I'm trying to be civil but I'm not going to be too many more bitch ass niggas..... I've already beat your ass before Iman and the only thing stopping me from doing it again is the fact that I'm not trying to get kicked out of school, but I promise if I even think some slick shyt is about to come out your mouth you're going to be swallowing your teeth before the words can even leave your mouth." Devin said in a cold deadly voice.

"Devin stop let him go, look Iman just go get us some food and come back let us talk in private." I said handing him a twenty. Iman started to argue but decided against it, he shot Devin one more look of pure hatred and walked away. "Do you wanna come inside?" I asked Devin.

"No I'm not going to be here long...... I just need to tell you something I'm sorry about last night. I was outta line and I should've handle the situation better... it's just you do something to me Nico, you set this fire to my soul that can't be put out. When we first got together it was a good fire the kind that warms you up and gives light during darkness. Then something happened and  it became a destructive flame that consumes me we were always arguing and fighting, I'll admit some of it was my fault but you played a part as well......." Devin rambled on. "Look I guess what I'm trying to say is I love you and I probably always will.... but the thing is when I'm with Antonio I'm at peace there's no fire there's, no anger I'm just feel happy. Antonio brings out the best in me and I know this isn't what you wanna hear but I need to make things right with you if I ever want to move on with my life." Devin said.

"If you want to be with Antonio then why'd did you keep fucking me?" I asked looking in his eyes.

"If I remember correctly Nico the first three times I cheated on Antonio you came on to me, I'll admit the fourth time I did come find you but that's just because I knew I could.... but that's neither here nor there Nico I shouldn't have never done it in the first place. I'm sorry for leading you on, but we can't see each other anymore." Devin said sadly.

"Devin this isn't you talking, this sounds like your brothers." I asked defiantly.

"Nico this doesn't have anything to do with them, this is about me, this is about my happiness." Devin said quietly. 

"Every since they came into the picture Devin our relationship has been going in a downward spiral." I said.

"Don't put this on them Nico..... we were good when Khalil and Cam first came around, now granted Cam has never liked you but Cam doesn't like anyone. But Khalil gave you a chance, things started getting bad between us when Iman came into the picture.... You know what Nico this isn't about Khalil, Cam, or Iman this is about us. I can't do this with you anymore." Devin said looking away.

"Why do you keep doing this to me Devin? You're in, you're out, you want us to be friends, you don't want us to see each other anymore make up your mind. I need you to be sure that if you walk away there's no coming back, that if you walk away your sure it's what you really want because if you do then I promise I won't talk to you again, if you walk away I'll leave you alone for good. So are you sure this is what you want." I said looking into his eyes.

"Yeah I'm sure." Devin said never breaking eye contact.

"Whatever Devin." I said turning my head so he couldn't see the tears building in my eyes.

"Nico....." Devin said grabbing my hand. "I....... I wish you nothing but the best. I hope one day you can find someone to heal the hole I put in your heart." He leaned forward and kissed me on the cheek, he wiped the lone tear that fell from his eye and smiled. "Goodbye Nico." Devin said walking away I watched as he got to the end of the hall then stopped and looked back at me. He shook his head and kept walking. I walked back into my dorm and did everything in my power to keep from crying. I heard the door open and I turned praying it was Devin but Iman was standing there.

"You aight Nico?" He asked, I shook my head and he walked over and pulled me into his arms. "It's okay Nico I'm not going anywhere, I'm going to always be here just like I always have been." Iman said. "Nico baby don't cry, that nigga isn't worth your tears." Even as he talked I couldn't stop thinking about Devin........ the first time I saw him when he walked into the classroom with more confidence than anybody I've every met. The first time we spoke the subtle sadness in his voice that drew me in and captured my heart. The first time we kissed, the first time we made love, everything we did together flashed in front of my eyes and in that moment I made up my mind that I wasn't going to give up on us, not without a fight.