We're standing where we were an hour ago, except now West and Eldon have done their solos. I personally preferred Eldon's, but I think either of them could do well in the competition.
Miss Kate smiles. "The male soloist is going to be... West!"
Everyone claps and West adds, "Well, you always get to be the male soloist in big competitions, Eldon, so it's kind of my turn to represent us in something small!"
Miss Kate pauses for a moment, then asks, "Who wants to audition for female soloist tomorrow?"
"I would like to, Miss Kate." Michelle says.
"So would I!" Giselle adds.
"Anyone else?" Miss Kate asks.
"Umm... I would like to." I say quietly.
"Ok. So that's Michelle, Giselle and Riley. Good luck, girls!" With that, Miss Kate walks back into her office.
"So, shall we work on our finals routine?" Giselle asks.
Everyone nods and walks off to their positions.
*********************
I collect my stuff from my cubby at the end of the session, before walking out of the doors with Michelle.
"So, how are you feeling about the auditions?" She asks.
"I'm feeling alright about it. I've worked really hard on my solo. But I don't mind if you or Giselle get it, because you'll deserve it." I reply.
"I'm sure yours will be really good as well, Riley!"
"Thanks, Michelle." I say, looking sideways at her with a smile. She smiles back.
We reach the bus stop and wait for the bus, which isn't too much of a wait. Paying for our tickets, we get on and sit down on the seats at the back of the bus.
"So, Riley, you and James...? How's that going?" Michelle asks, after a few seconds.
"Good, we're good at the moment, I guess..."
"What do you mean 'I guess'? You guys are okay, right?"
"Yeah, yeah we're fine!" I say.
"Riley, I'm your best friend, you can tell me." Michelle turns to face me.
"Okay, well, James has been feeling like I deserve someone better than him, and that he's always the reason I'm upset. Yes, he has upset me before, but there have been other things as well, it hasn't just been him. Other places, other times, other guys..." I trail off, realising I'm bringing up everything that hurt me before. I swallow, pushing everything that threatens to break my composed front and expose my inner self back down to where it belongs.
"So then I told him what I just told you, and then there was just... some kind of understanding, I don't know. James puts on a front of not being bothered by stuff and usually convinces everyone that things don't affect him. Though it doesn't mean that they don't. I think he feels he has to be careful what he does, because he doesn't want to lose me."
"Aw, that's so sweet!" Michelle says.
"I love him so much, Michelle. I just think I'm not the solid rock he wants to have. I can't be the girl who doesn't react when things happen to her. I don't want to lose him, but I don't think I can deal with having to pretend to be strong all the time."
"What do you mean? Have you been doing that?" Michelle asks, her face furrowed in a concerned expression.
Damn! I've done it again. Why did I have to say so much? Remember what you said, Riley. You can't let anyone in too much. You said that, Riley. Get. It. Together.
"Oh, no, I'm just saying I don't want it to happen. I haven't been doing that – I'm fine!" I say, almost too quickly.
"Sure?" Michelle said, with a caring smile on her face.
"Yeah, I am."
"Okay, then." Michelle replies.
For the rest of the journey, we don't talk about ourselves much. The thing is, Michelle's my best friend. She says I can tell her anything. It's just that I just can't, and she wouldn't understand that.
Michelle gets off the bus first, as her house is nearer. She waves until I can't see her anymore, then I turn around in my seat. I sit alone for a few minutes, then finally the bus turns into my road. I press the button to get off, then stand up and walk over to the doors.
Stepping off the bus, I check the time. 12.36. This afternoon, I'm going to spend some time with Emily, I decide. We haven't really done anything as sisters recently, so I'm going to surprise her. She deserves that.
Thinking about it, she's another person who pretends to be strong. She always insists she's fine, but I've seen the grimaces she attempts to hide every time she walks, the fake smile she does whenever she's asked about her knee, the muffled sobs from her room late at night. I never mention it – there's no point. She'd deny everything – just like I do.
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There's Chapter 4 everyone :) Sorry I haven't posted for a few days, I hope you enjoyed the chapter! I really appreciate everyone who is reading my book, please continue to do it! I'd like it if you commented or voted as well, if you want to... ;)
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I Can't Cope (COMPLETED)
Fanfiction'Why does everything keep reminding me of the past? I don't want a repeat and I certainly don't want to be reminded. It hurts too much. One more thing and I might just be pushed over the edge...' Everything always looks fine from the outside. Riley...
