I Can't Cope (COMPLETED)

Chapter 14 - Emily

'Dear Hunter,

I know you won't read this, but I'm saying it anyway. I miss you and I really need to talk to you.

I never wanted to break up with you, you must understand, I did it because of Amanda, and in order to save the team. From the moment we ended, I wanted nothing more than to be with you again. To be the girl you laughed with, the girl you spent time with, the only girl you looked at, the only one you loved...

I love everything about you. Your lovely hair, your cute, happy face... but more than that too. You were actually a guy who had more than just looks. Your personality is flawless. You're so caring and kind, relaxed but also so ready for anything, at the same time. I love how you take a joke so well too, I always had an amazing time whenever I saw you.

Hunter. I need you. I need to see your face. Hear your voice. Be with you. You will never understand how much I miss you. I never treasured the last day I saw you, because I thought that there would be many more. But one day you left Studio A, and never came back. It's been over 6 months now. Where are you? Why are you not saying anything? Don't you miss us? I know I miss you. More than anything.

Hunter, I know you're never going to read this, so there's really no point me writing it, but for some reason I am anyway. I don't know what to do. I have to move on, but I can't stop thinking about you. I'm so afraid of my feelings, they're too strong, too overwhelming. I wish they would just stop, I don't think I can go on with this desperation much longer. I need you, Hunter, but I don't think I can have you. At the same time, I have no idea how you feel about me, so I could just be wasting my time, slowly letting my emotions take over me until I don't know what I'm doing, or what I'm going to do...'  Steph finishes reading. I look away from both of them.

"Jeez, Emily. I didn't realise you liked him that much!" Steph says.

"Yeah." I mumble.

"You have to talk to him, you can't keep going on not knowing." Giselle says decisively.

I lift my head back up and look directly at Giselle.

"But... but what if he doesn't feel the same way?"

"Then you'll know." Steph says. "If he doesn't feel how you do, then he is clearly not worth it, and you can move on." She continues, describing it as if it is the easiest thing in the world to do.

"Steph, it's not that easy."

"Usually. But why can't it be? If he's not worth it, he is literally. Not. Worth. It."

"Steph's right, you know." Giselle says. "You need to find out how he feels about you. So you can find out the real outcome and stop deliberating over false versions of reality, Em. Because it really doesn't help."

"And how exactly am I meant to ask him?" I ask.

"You call him. You must have his number..."

"Oh, so I'm literally going to ring him up and ask 'Do you love me? Do you think about me all the time? Because I think about you...' Well, I'm TOTALLY going to say that!" I say sarcastically.

"Well, you wouldn't necessarily have to say that over the phone. You could arrange to meet up..." Giselle suggests.

"Because that wouldn't be awkward at all, would it, Giselle?"

"Well, it might be. But, like I said, you're not going to know until you try..."

I think it over briefly. She's right. She's always so damn right.

"Giselle, why are you so knowledgeable? About, like, life!" I say. Giselle grins.

"I don't know. I guess I was just born wise!" She says, jokingly.

"So, are you going to call him?" Steph interrupts.

"I don't know... I guess. I don't really have a choice, do I?"

"Umm," Steph says, "Not really!" She laughs.

"Thanks." I say sarcastically.

"Do it now." Giselle says. "Before you change your mind!"

"But I don't have any credit..." I say quietly.

"You can borrow my phone!" Steph offers, grinning.

"Oh, you are kind!"

"Someone's on form with the sarcasm today, aren't they?" Steph says, looking directly at me. She passes her phone over. I unlock it and type in Hunter's number.

The call button sits right under my fingers. Do I press it? Last time I got to this point, I was prevented from calling him. Will I get any further this time?

I tap the screen and bring the phone to my ear. The ringing tone plays as I wait for him to pick up on the other end. The line clicks.

"Hello?" Hunter says. I gasp. He's actually there, his voice speaking. I haven't heard it for what seems like a lifetime. It hasn't changed at all. Maybe he hasn't changed...

"Who's there?" He asks.

"...E- Em- Emily." I just about manage to answer.

"Emily!" He says. I don't know what that response means. Happiness? Confusion? ...Anger? I'm not sure.

"Why... are you calling me?" He asks quietly.

"I need to talk to you, Hunter." I reply, faking confidence.

"Go on, Em!" Steph whispers. I roll my eyes at her, but find myself smiling away. It's nice to have the support of my friends. It's nice to have friends at all...

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Chapter 14! :) Hope you enjoyed it! Was that what you expected from the letter? What do you think's going to happen next? The next chapter will be up soon... :)

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