I Can't Cope (COMPLETED)

Chapter 46 - James

Riley gets up to go to the toilet, and I have to say, I'm relieved. The atmosphere is just so awkward. Piper 100% knows something is up, but I'm still refusing to tell her. She doesn't need to know. It's none of her business how I choose to mess up my life - or evidently, other people's.

I feel bad for Riley. She's obviously not right in some way, I don't think this 'fine' act is actually her. And if it isn't, maybe I've done something a little stupid. But it's too late to change anything, what's done is done. I'm sure we'll both get over it. Well, I think we both will.

I finish my roast dinner and take a sip of my drink. Luckily the conversation's moved away from me and Riley, so I don't have to say anything else. I know I asked Riley not to mention anything about our breakup, but I'm still surprised she hasn't. I mean, what reason does she have for covering for me?

"Is Riley okay?" Piper whispers to me.

"Huh?" I reply, not really taking in her question straight away.

"She's only eaten half her meal."

"Oh," I say, thinking about it. I mean, it's obvious to everyone that Riley isn't okay. Well, I would have thought it would be. But she wouldn't tell anyone if she wasn't okay, that's one thing I know about her. "That's because she's gone to the toilet, so she can't exactly eat it right now." I snap, finding myself losing my temper with Piper yet again. She's just so damn irritating. "Stop asking about her and worry about stuff that's actually your business." I add, thumping my glass down on the table a little too enthusiastically. Naturally, I end up drawing the attention of the entire table.

"Everything alright up that end?" Mum asks.

"Oh, I'm fine." I reply, edging my chair away from Piper.

"James, I-" Piper starts.

"Just shut it for once, please." I immediately interrupt, rolling my eyes and standing up. "Mum, I'm going to the toilet." I say, although I'm already halfway towards the toilets.

"What is it with teenagers and incontinence these days?" Dad remarks, earning a laugh from all the adults.

"Oh haha, hilarious." I mutter. I barely need the toilet anyway. I just needed to get away from everyone else.

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I wash my hands in the sink, glancing at myself in the mirror to check my appearance. I look pretty good, I guess, but to be honest, I don't really care. There are plenty of other things I care about more, like Riley.

Wait what? I care about Riley? No I don't. Why would I even think that? I know I don't. I like Michelle. I'm doing the duet with Michelle. Riley's my ex; Michelle's practically my girlfriend. I made Riley and I break up. If I still cared about her, I wouldn't have done all this to her.

No, that's a lie. That's exactly what I've done. I still like Riley...

Michelle was just a bit of fun when I was bored - but if I was bored, I should have tried to fix that with Riley, not kiss other girls when I was still with her. Ugh James, how could you have been so stupid?

Turning off the tap, I suddenly stop in my tracks, hearing a noise. It's... someone being sick? I don't know. I go out into the corridor and whip around, instantly realising something. That's Riley. It has to be, there's only one toilet in each bathroom.

"Riley?" I call, even though I know she won't reply. I mean, she's being sick. "You okay?"

"Yeah... I'm... fine..." I hear a quiet voice from the other side of the door. A couple of moments later, she emerges from the toilet. "Why wouldn't I be?"

The more normal she acts, the weirder it gets. I mean, she's talking to me in full sentences. She wouldn't be doing that if she wasn't pretending to be fine, she's obviously covering something up.

"Riley, I may be an idiot, but I'm not completely stupid. Let me help you." I say gently, even though that's not normally like me. I just want her to trust me again; it's never gonna happen though. I've hurt her too many times...

"James..." she looks down for a moment, then looks back up again. "James, you... never mind." she mumbles, walking past me back to the table.

But she can't run from what happened between us forever, she can't run from me... I just want to say sorry.

*********************

As we leave the restaurant, my phone vibrates in my pocket. Michelle.

Hey wanna come over tonight? ;)

No I send instinctively. Wait, did I just send that?!

No, I can't, I meant. Mum's birthday. I send quickly.

It's almost like Riley told me to send that, because it's obvious her and Michelle no longer get along. To be honest, I know why I sent that. Because right now, the only girl on my mind is Riley. And I can't believe what I've done to her.

As we travel back home, I can't help but notice the lyrics of the song playing on the radio.

Only know you love her when you let her go.

My eyes begin to sting as I look out the window. Am I... crying? I know I've made a mistake, but damn, I didn't realise how bad it would feel to acknowledge what I've done to Riley. How much I don't even like Michelle, not in the way I like Riley. I guess the heart doesn't always tell the brain what it wants.

I get out my phone and open my messages. Riley and I haven't texted for weeks, whereas Michelle and I have been texting every day. But that doesn't mean anything anymore. I've finally realised why I felt uncomfortable. I finally know what I've lost and I need to get it back again. But I worry it's too late to save it...

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There's chapter 46 :) what did you think?

So James has finally realised he's made a mistake, but what's going to happen next? Will he try and get Riley back? Will she let him back in? Will Michelle still get in the way? Will he ever find out about Nick?

Please continue to read, comment and vote! ;)

The next chapter is almost ready to be uploaded, so it should be up in the next few days and it's certainly an interesting one ;) Let's just say things are going to continue to go downhill...