I Can't Cope (COMPLETED)

Chapter 19 - Emily

I pace up and down, waiting for Steph to arrive. To be honest, I probably shouldn't be standing up for so long, because it won't do any good for my knee. But I've gone past the point of caring, because I'm probably never going to return to dance, so what's the point of it getting any better, because it's not like it's going to be of any use. Anyway, as crazy as it sounds, I guess I enjoy the pain. Well, not enjoy, more... need. It serves as a reminder that I can't ever think I'm getting really good at something, because things can never go well without something bad happening, I've learned that.

That's why I'm so worried about meeting up with Hunter. It will either go terribly, which is bad, or really well, which is also bad, because something has to go wrong eventually!

I sit down, checking the time. 10.25. I hope she's not late, because I'll probably get really annoyed about it. For some reason, I'm really easy to set off at the moment. I don't even mean to be, I'm just always on edge.

I walk slowly to the front door and unlock it, just for something to do. Then I walk back into the living room and sit down. Again. Ugh, I hate waiting. It's so... BORING.

Yay! I've found another negative thing about myself - I'm really impatient. I love finding out something - usually negative - that makes up my personality. People say that everybody has their faults but also their good points too. But I think that the person who came up with that must not have met me, because I haven't found any good points yet. I guess that's kinda sad, because if you're not adding anything to the world, what's the point of living?

Though, I'm not sad enough to want to go into, like, the whole self-harming and suicide thing. I don't see why anyone turns to it really. There must be other ways of sorting things out, there must be people that people like that could talk to. I can't imagine I would be very good at being one of those people though, I'm just not very... understanding, I guess. So, for the benefit of anyone in that position, I hope they don't turn to me!

I get up. Again. Looking out the window, I see Steph walking up the path. She sees me and smiles. A few moments later, I hear the front door open.

"Hey, Em! I'm here!" She calls. I walk out into the hallway to meet her.

"Hey Steph." I say, smiling. She looks amazing today. Then again, she always does. But why does it seem like she's tried extra hard today? I mean, did she really go all out just for walking me to meet Hunter? I hope she doesn't like him too. Because if she does, he would probably choose her over me.

"You missed the end of the film last night, you know..." She says, smiling.

"Oh, yeah, I did." I reply. "Sorry about that."

It wasn't like it was a boring film or anything, I just felt really drowsy. Probably something to do with the painkillers, I guess...

"It's fine, shall we go?" Steph asks.

"Yeah." I reply.

"You wearing these?" She asks, picking up my slip-on shoes.

"Yeah." She passes them over and I put them on.

"Let's go. I don't want to be late." I say.

"Okay, come on then!" She replies, gesturing for me to come outside. I pick up my bag before rushing out the door, locking it behind me.

"Where are we actually going?" Steph asks as we walk along.

"Somewhere called Coffee Corner. It's on the other side of town, I looked it up online."

"The other side of town?!" Steph asks. "Why didn't you say? I would have pushed you along in your wheelchair!"

"Argh! Why does no one think I'm capable of ANYTHING? Wait, I know, it's because they think I'm 'unstable' physically, mentally, emotionally or whatever you want to call it. You need to get it in your head that I'M FINE! You think I want to turn up in a wheelchair, giving the impression I'm weak, injured and needy? Because I don't. I really don't!"