I Can't Cope (COMPLETED)

Chapter 30 - Riley

After several days of pain and discomfort have passed, you would've thought I'd have shown some signs of improvement. I haven't. In fact, in some ways, it's even worse than before.

I can't help feeling a sense of déjà vu as I get in Miss Kate's car to visit the costume shop again. I still have a headache. I still feel like I'm going to be sick - it's just something I've been forced to get used to. I still am looking out the window, wishing I was somewhere else. However, one thing that's different this time is that James decided not to come. He said he had to visit Piper, but I don't understand why I'm still not allowed to see her in hospital. I mean, I get it that he wanted to see her today - and I wouldn't be able to - but I don't understand why he still declined my offer of going with him to see her tomorrow.

Piper is such a nice girl, almost like a younger sister to me. I mean, our two families basically grew up together, so we're pretty close. She works so hard to achieve everything and a sweet girl like her doesn't deserve something like this happening to her. Unlike me, I guess...

I was so close to mentioning something to Emily the other night about everything that's going on, but something held me back. She asked me whether I was okay, and, I mean obviously I wasn't, and we both knew that, yet I continued to say nothing about it.

It was almost like a role-reversal afterwards I would imagine, because the next thing I knew I was no longer on the sofa, but in my bed, meaning Emily must have carried me upstairs. I mustn't have helped her knee (even though she said it was improving): a great lump like me being lumbered upstairs by a skinny girl like Emily. I'm surprised she even managed to make it up the stairs.

I hope I haven't put on too much weight recently; Miss Kate gave Mrs Lowell our measurements several weeks ago. It would be so embarrassing if I try on my dress to find I can't even get it on.

Going through the door of Mrs Lowell's shop, I still can't help but find myself smiling again. It's such a pretty shop, and anything to do with dance can usually pick me up or at least distract me from my other problems for a while. Maybe dancing will help improve things, even though it was the thing that made things worse - I can't avoid rehearsing forever, the competition's in two days!

"Hello Kate, Riley, West and Giselle!" Mrs Lowell says as we enter. "We'll keep this short, so Riley follow me and we'll fit you first." I follow her out into a fitting room towards the back of the shop and she goes over to a dress bag. Unzipping it, she reveals a stunning black dress with purple decoration. My mouth drops open. It's... it's amazing, I can't believe The Next Step can even afford to pay for something this high quality. It'd better fit.

"What do you think?" Mrs Lowell says, smiling.

"It's great!" I smile and take off my shoes. "I hope it fits!"

After insisting I could put it on by myself, I change into the dress. I turn and face the mirror, pulling down my sleeves self-consciously, and look at myself. My hair's a mess and my makeup seriously leaves a lot to be desired. Attempting to ignore this, I look at the dress. It looks so good! I peer behind me, checking out my figure. I think this dress is even more flattering than my mum's old one - either that, or this one has built-in tummy control. Because I can't remember a time when I've looked in the mirror and called myself skinny... until today.

To be honest, I guess skipping meals because you're not hungry does make you lose weight...

Realising everyone is waiting to see my dress on the other side of the curtain, I pull it back. There's a collection of oohs and aahs from Giselle and Miss Kate, whilst a thumbs up is given from West.

"It's a good choice!" Giselle says, smiling. I blush, incredibly self-conscious all of a sudden. I mean, I'm used to people watching me when I dance, but not people looking at how something looks on my body...

"I don't think it needs adjusting." I say quickly, determined to make the moment pass quickly.

"Okay, if you're sure." Miss Kate replies.

"Yep, I am." I say, going back behind the curtain again. I quickly change back out of the dress and into my dance stuff. Miss Kate was planning to take the costumes back to the studio, so I asked if she would take me back with her, because I really need to rehearse. She said yes, even though it's going to be quite late by the time we get there. I didn't tell her that was the reason though - that I don't want many people to be there - because I don't want her to realise that I don't think I'm ready to do my solo in front of people.

Once I've finished in the changing room, I walk back out and sit beside Giselle. I pull my jacket around me, shivering slightly and smile weakly at Giselle. She smiles back.

"Are you okay?" she asks.

Uh oh. I reminded myself about this so long ago - stop showing everything on your face, Riley! If you don't want people to notice your issues, don't be so obvious about them!

"Oh, yeah, I'm fine." I reply, as casually as possible.

"How are you feeling about the competition?" Giselle asks.

"Oh, the solo competition? Yeah I'm fine about that, couldn't be more ready..." I'm a rubbish liar, but I have to hope she believes me.

"Good." she says. At this point, West has finished changing and comes out into the main room.

His outfit is... how should I put it...? Very like him. It's the kind of thing that if anyone else wore it, they would look weird, but West somehow manages to pull it off.

"Wow!" Miss Kate says to a grinning West.

"What do you think?" he says.

"It's interesting... but in a good way." Giselle says, getting up and looking at West's outfit. "It'll make you stand out!"

West laughs and looks at Giselle.

"Well, that's the intention..."

West changes back out of his costume, after Mrs Lowell making a few adjustments to the hem. Miss Kate goes over to the desk and talks with Mrs Lowell for a few moments before handing West and I our costumes.

We walk out of Mrs Lowell's shop for the last time and back to the car. West puts his costume in the boot and looks at Miss Kate.

"I'm gonna walk home, it's nearer here than at the studio."

"Okay then," Miss Kate says. "See you tomorrow!

He waves and walks off.

"Yeah, same here." Giselle says, smiling. "Night guys!" She walks away, rushing to catch West up in the distance.

Miss Kate turns to me.

"Back to the studio?"

"Back to the studio." I reply smiling, my face so much happier I feel than I feel about everything that is to come...

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There's chapter 30 :D What did you think? :)

Will James let Riley go to see Piper? Why hasn't he let her up until now? Will Riley be okay at the solo competition? What's going to happen there?

As usual, please continue to read, comment and vote! :) xx

Next chapter is the start of the solo competition, and it will be up as soon as possible! :D