I stare at my reflection self-consciously whilst Emily proceeds to curl my hair. Michelle does my makeup whilst Giselle and Thalia hover in the background, looking around the surprisingly spacious dressing room. Yes that's right. Everyone who enters this solo competition gets their own dressing room.
Miss Kate evidently forgot to tell me that, along with the money, winning Nationals came with other privileges. Like entry to scarily huge solo competitions.
I can't believe I forgot there would be this much pressure: we're the best studio in the country, of course we're expected to do well!
Naturally, West has his own dressing room, though what he and the boys are doing in there, I don't know. I mean, it's not like he has his makeup to do really. To be honest, they're probably just messing around with all the freebies they've been given.
It's crazy, this competition is nothing like any other individual dance competition I've been to before. Everyone we passed on the way to the dressing room looked absolutely immaculate and, to be honest, it's extremely intimidating. I know we're supposedly the best dancers here, but what if I let everyone down? My headache's only recently subsided and I'm still incredibly stressed and apprehensive about dancing in front of all the people here. The last time I danced in front of this many people was at Nationals, and that was in hugely different circumstances to these. I'm just praying for a miracle right now - I can't have a panic attack onstage.
Emily finishes my hair and looks at me in the mirror.
"All done!" she says, smiling. A few moments later, Michelle finishes doing my face and steps back.
"Wow! You look great, Riley!" Thalia says, walking over.
"Great job guys!" Giselle says, beaming at Michelle and Emily. "We're so going to win this!"
I notice Emily bobbing up and down behind me. Maybe she's nervous for me? Or maybe she's just excited? I don't know, I find it hard to read people.
I thought it might be awkward, the first time Emily seeing the team again, but everything's been fine. I would even go as far as to say things are going well. For her, at least. For me... not so much.
I just wish James would come and see me. He's the one who's managed to calm me down before, he's the one who made things okay. Over these past few days, I've thought about him so much, and I miss being in his arms, feeling his firm-but-gentle hold, him looking at me like I'm the only girl he sees... but I know it's not like that anymore. And I really need to stop thinking otherwise.
I get up from my chair in front of the dressing table.
"How long until I'm on?" I ask Emily, biting my lip anxiously.
"Um..." Emily says, checking the clipboard with the order of the solos on it. "50 minutes. But you have to be there 10 minutes before that to do a second register." Emily looks back up from the sheet of paper and smiles at me.
"Okay." I reply, beginning to pace around the dressing room. "Where's West's dressing room?"
"Down the hallway." Giselle says. "I think Miss Kate just went to check on the boys. Do you want to go see James or something?"
My brain wants to say no but my heart won't let it. After all, seeing him might make things worse - but I want to hug him and, like every time before, I still want to think he may have changed and his attention is now solely on me.
"Yeah, I guess." I say, trying not to make a big thing of it.
"Are you sure? He's probably pretty busy right now." Michelle pipes up quickly. I turn to look at her.
"What?" I raise my eyebrows. "What is he doing? He's not the one doing a solo, Michelle, so I'm pretty sure he has enough time to talk to his girlfriend!" I bring myself up to my full height - which, to be honest, isn't very tall - and narrow my eyes at Michelle. "Yeah, if you didn't realise, James and I are dating. So, guess what? I'd kinda appreciate it if you stopped trying to steal my boyfriend from right under my nose!" I say, opening the door and walking out.
After negotiating my way through a few corridors, I find West's dressing room, taking a deep breath to calm myself down before knocking on the door. West opens it.
"Hey Riley!" he says, doing up the buttons on his jacket. Walking in, I notice James sat in the corner, looking at his phone. He looks up as I enter, quickly putting down the phone. A smile takes a couple of seconds too long to form on his face, and immediately, I am suspicious.
He gets up and walks over to me.
"Hey Riles." he says. "How are you feeling?" he adds, putting his arm loosely around me with a smile.
James being all nice like this reminds me of what things used to be like - but now it just makes me feel uncomfortable. It all just seems like an act, like he's being forced to be nice to me, not like the actually caring James I used to know.
I look up at him.
"You know, if you don't want to be with me, you can just say..."
Something flashes up in James' eyes quickly before disappearing.
"What? Of course I want to be with you."
"Really?" I say, raising my eyebrows.
"Yeah." he replies, looking at me.
"Okay..." I reply quietly, deciding to drop it, wanting to last out my fantasy of that being true a little while longer.
"Your solo's soon, right?" he says.
"Yeah... But West's is first, so you'll probably want to see his first." I reply.
"Oh who said I wanted to see yours anyway?" James says, smirking. I sigh and open my mouth to speak.
"Chill, Riley, it was a joke..." James adds quickly. But I'm not in the mood for jokes, so I don't exactly take it very well.
We spend a while talking, and it should feel good - like old times - but something makes everything feel disjointed. I guess it's the fact I know something's going on between him and Michelle - and he knows that, but doesn't want to admit to it. I glance at my phone.
"Hey, West?" I look around and see him talking at the door with Giselle. "Aren't you on soon?"
"What's the time?" he asks.
"10.30, man, you should be registering!" James says, getting up. West's eyes widen.
"Yeah I should! Therefore I feel I'm going to channel my inner raccoon and rush to the registration desk right now!" West says, dashing out of the room. Giselle laughs.
"I feel like sometimes I will never understand that boy!"
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Chapter 31 everyone :) what did you think?
What's going to happen when it's Riley's turn to dance? Will things be okay? How much longer will she wait before confronting James? Will she actually do it, or let things continue? Do Giselle and West like each other? (not currently relevant to the storyline, but, let's be honest, who doesn't like a bit of Gisest? ;) )
As I always say, please continue to read, comment and vote, it makes me so happy to see the feedback on my story :)
Next chapter, further events at the solo competition...
YOU ARE READING
I Can't Cope (COMPLETED)
Fanfiction'Why does everything keep reminding me of the past? I don't want a repeat and I certainly don't want to be reminded. It hurts too much. One more thing and I might just be pushed over the edge...' Everything always looks fine from the outside. Riley...
